You Do not *Have* To Be Pals With Your Ex(es)
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So many of us set ourselves underneath tension to test and be pals with an ex. And, certainly, often we tension our ex into seeking to be buddies with us. In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Periods, I clarify why forcing ourselves or other folks to be buddies following a separation is disingenuous, harmful to our effectively-remaining, and can even influence our availability for subsequent relationships.
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5 key subject areas in this episode
- Remaining good friends with an ex mainly because it is a real friendship is wonderful. Currently being mates with an ex since we have a concealed agenda of secretly auditioning for our outdated job in the hope they’ll see how incredible we are and regret being damaged up, not so terrific.
- When we say of course to currently being close friends with our ex because we’re frightened of what will happen if and when we say no, we’re signing up for agony. We dread incurring their wrath, judgement, or even getting judged by other people. An inauthentic yes leads to far extra problems than if we’d mentioned no in the 1st place.
- Friendship is a romance amongst good friends. Friends really do not try to screw you, screw with your head, or screw you in excess of. And at the time you cross the friendship threshold into romance, it will take length and nutritious boundaries prior to a friendship can be restored, if at all.
- We really do not have to turn every single passionate romance into a friendship to justify having invested ourselves. It’s a sunk charge. Courting or remaining in a marriage was what it took to be concerned. The ship has sailed. We have to have to end trying to get a “return on financial commitment.”
- Were being you friends just before you grew to become romantically involved? Even if you have been good friends, did you (or they) have intimate emotions? If you weren’t pals right before getting romantically included, were being you legitimate mates as nicely as fans? Be truthful about no matter whether you are or had been actually mates.
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