Self sabotaging in relationships comes from a deep resentment towards the vulnerability required of you in a committed relationship.<\/p>\n
Additionally, it comes from an unconscious but overwhelming feeling of unworthiness. Specifically when getting close to people.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re asking why do I self sabotage my relationships, the above are the simplest answers.<\/p>\n
But surely there\u2019s more to this deleterious behavior than these two reasons? And there is.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But first, let\u2019s get really clear on what self sabotaging actually is.<\/p>\n
![\"Why](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/handsoverface.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nWhat Is Self-Sabotaging In a Relationship?<\/strong><\/h2>\nSelf-sabotaging relationships is the act of destroying the trust, connection and love between two people in a relationship, even when you do really want<\/em> that relationship in your life.<\/p>\nIt\u2019s often done unconsciously through embodying all the parts of yourself that are the hardest (if not impossible) for someone else to love.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll subconsciously or consciously make their life difficult or even go so far as to make them despise you by being nasty, contemptuous, judgemental or just plain difficult to connect with.<\/p>\n
Recommended: What Every Woman Ought to Know About Trusting A Man.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\nWhat Are Examples of Self-Sabotage In Relationships?<\/strong><\/h3>\nSome examples of self sabotaging behaviors include:<\/p>\n
\n- Hostile body language (sneering, crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact and turning away from them)<\/li>\n
- Judging them and pointing out their flaws for no reason (usually for the \u201cfun\u201d of it).<\/li>\n
- Mocking them<\/li>\n
- Choosing your \u201cindependence\u201d over being intimate with them every time<\/li>\n
- Refusing to try to trust them\u00a0<\/li>\n
- Insisting that they could never \u201cunderstand\u201d you despite evidence that they can (or at least try to)<\/li>\n
- Pulling away with no explanation<\/li>\n
- Thinking that people who choose to be in intimate relationships are \u201cweak\u201d<\/li>\n
- Deliberately doing things someone has asked you not <\/em>to do<\/li>\n
- Any kind of gaslighting<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n
- Prioritising Your image (how your life and your actions \u201clook\u201d to others) over the person you\u2019re in a relationship with<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Related: Can\u2019t Trust Anyone? 6 Hidden Signs They\u2019re Untrustworthy.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\nQUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!<\/span><\/b> (All the answers you seek about him lie within these 8 questions.)<\/a><\/p>\nWhy Do I Self Sabotage My Relationships?<\/strong><\/h2>\nThe reasons are multi-faceted and don\u2019t only <\/em>relate to neglect in infancy or to our attachment styles,<\/strong><\/a> although these factors certainly are related to self sabotaging behavior.<\/p>\nThe reasons we self sabotage are a combination of:<\/p>\n
\n- Our attachment styles<\/li>\n
- Internal stress and anxiety (which relates to our attachment style)<\/li>\n
- Depression or just feeling dead inside<\/li>\n
- Low self esteem<\/li>\n
- Superstition<\/li>\n
- Envy<\/li>\n
- The inability to attune to others<\/li>\n
- Laziness; and\u00a0<\/li>\n
- You\u2019re a small person<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Several of these reasons blend into each other.<\/p>\n
For example, low self esteem is directly related to your attachment style as well as internal stress and anxiety.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s look at each of these reasons in depth right now.<\/p>\n![\"learn](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/hvb-gold-banner2.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n1: Your Attachment Style<\/strong><\/h2>\nIf you have been asking why do I self sabotage my relationships, the core reason (from which a few of the other reasons stem from) is your attachment style.<\/p>\n
Specifically, it\u2019s that you likely have what is called an insecure attachment style.<\/p>\n
My husband and I prefer to call it \u201cinsecure attachment patterns\u201d, because that\u2019s what they are \u2013 patterns.<\/p>\n
Patterns that are established long before you have a chance to be consciously aware of them, much less object to such an unfortunate and disadvantaged start to life.<\/p>\n
So what are insecure attachment patterns?<\/p>\n
Put simply, they refer to the way in which you behave when getting intimate with someone.<\/p>\n
Now, to be clear: when I say getting intimate, I don\u2019t mean sex, although intimacy does include sex too.<\/p>\n
I am referring specifically to intimacy, <\/em>which encompasses:<\/p>\n\n- Emotional closeness (here\u2019s how to build an emotional connection with a man<\/strong><\/a>).<\/li>\n
- Understanding of another person<\/li>\n
- Expression of love towards yourself, another, and your ability to accept expressions of love from another<\/li>\n
- How comfortable you are with physical and emotional closeness<\/li>\n
- Your ability to accept someone completely (flaws, vulnerabilities and all); and<\/li>\n
- Of course, your ability to be vulnerable<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
If you have insecure attachment, then you will have either:<\/p>\n
More than likely, you\u2019ll show signs of all of the above three types of attachment styles, but usually people classify themselves into one main \u201ctype\u201d of attachment style.<\/p>\n
So let\u2019s first discover which attachment style you have \u2013 you can do that with our quick and easy (women-specific) quiz\u2026<\/p>\n
QUIZ TIME: Do I have secure or insecure attachment patterns? CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz!<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it\u2019s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)\u00a0<\/p>\n
An insecure attachment style makes you sabotage your relationships subconsciously because you don\u2019t feel \u201csafe\u201d in love and intimacy.<\/p>\n
Essentially, love, intimacy, trust and closeness is not your equilibrium.<\/p>\n
Instead, your equilibrium lies in:\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n- Anxiety<\/li>\n
- Avoidance; or\u00a0<\/li>\n
- A combination of those two things<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Related: Dating & Disorganized Attachment: 5 Signs of It 7 FAQs.<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n2: Internal Stress And Anxiety<\/strong><\/h2>\nWhen you\u2019re constantly anxious and stressed, you will self sabotage a lot.<\/p>\n
But why is this?<\/p>\n
It\u2019s because of a few reasons:<\/p>\n
\n- Getting closer to someone triggers more anxiety<\/strong><\/a> (anxious attachment patterns showing through), and you just can\u2019t cope<\/li>\n
- Being under so much stress keeps you in more of a fight or flight state, so you are more likely to perceive your friend or lover\u2019s actions as a threat when they\u2019re not<\/li>\n
- You don\u2019t want to be witnessed in this horrible state of stress (you don\u2019t want to let people in)<\/li>\n
- You will exhibit more self sabotaging behaviors because anxiety and stress makes you want to push people away<\/strong><\/a> and keep them at a distance<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/AlenaCake.jpg\")
<\/a>Case Study:<\/mark><\/strong> Discover how the introverted Alena got her man to ask her out almost instantly and for the very first time in her life, she started attracting highly esteemed men & making real progress in overcoming her own anxious attachment patterns\u2026 All by using this dark feminine art of banter.<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n3: Depression Or Feeling Dead Inside<\/strong><\/h2>\nIf you\u2019re in poor mental health, you\u2019ll be at risk of self sabotaging behaviors, because you do not want to (nor can you) make room for another person\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n
Thus you push them away rather than keeping them close.<\/p>\n
On that note, if you think you push people away, here are 7 signs you\u2019re pushing someone away (and why you do it).<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\nNow let\u2019s differentiate between depression and feeling dead inside. Because they can go hand in hand, but they don\u2019t have to.<\/em><\/p>\nDepression is more what someone goes through when their life circumstances don\u2019t meet their internal expectations or hopes.<\/p>\n
Feeling dead inside can occur because you just can\u2019t connect to any emotions and you find it difficult to feel anything, whether it be sadness or elation.<\/p>\n
This can be caused by trauma of course, or just an avoidant attachment style.<\/p>\n
People who feel dead inside often can\u2019t cry and find it difficult to keep anyone close, because they don\u2019t embody the emotion necessary to have any kind of relationship.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s no wonder they sabotage things, because not only can they not feel <\/em>anything, they usually do not even want to \u2013 or they have learned not to for whatever reason.<\/p>\nThus they do things that push others away and ruin their chances of ever building intimacy with them.<\/p>\n
By the way, did you know that there is one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that makes him love you deeply and want to take care of you for life?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nCLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n![\"Self](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/alone-1024x605.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n4: Low Self Esteem<\/strong><\/h2>\nOf course low self esteem is related to your attachment style, because if you\u2019re insecurely attached you are so because you don\u2019t believe you\u2019re enough or \u2018worthy\u2019 of intimacy and closeness.<\/p>\n
Why do people with low self esteem sabotage their relationships?<\/p>\n
Because they never quite feel worthy enough to receive someone else\u2019s love.<\/p>\n
They tend to resent any genuine displays of love at worst, and shut off to them or push them away at best.<\/p>\n
Basically, low self esteem and romantic relationships do not go together.<\/p>\n
If you have low self esteem issues, you\u2019ll struggle to keep a relationship together and healthy,<\/strong><\/a> even if you manage to get married.<\/p>\nThe trouble with low self esteem is that it doesn\u2019t matter how much your partner loves you, you won\u2019t ever truly feel<\/em> loved, because you don\u2019t love yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\nBy the way, have you seen our Goddess report? It\u2019s FREE! CLICK here to Learn How to Become the World\u2019s Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess<\/strong><\/a> (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention\u2026)<\/p>\n5: Superstition<\/strong><\/h2>\nYes, superstition can cause you to self sabotage even the most healthy relationship.<\/p>\n
Due to lack of knowledge about human relationships and a lack of self awareness (of your thought processes and past traumas), you may sabotage a relationship because you think that\u2019s your destiny.<\/p>\n
For example, perhaps you\u2019ve had many past relationships that ended at 3 months, or even 18 months.<\/p>\n
So even if you get into a relationship with someone who loves you, your body \u201cremembers\u201d the past relationship failures at that exact timeline of the relationship, and due to superstition or a belief in \u201cbad luck\u201d, you\u2019ll turn on your partner and your relationship.<\/p>\n
Why?<\/p>\n
Because you \u201cknow what\u2019s coming\u201d.<\/p>\n
You think it\u2019s inevitable.<\/p>\n
But what does superstition really mean?<\/p>\n
It is defined as:<\/p>\n
\n\u201cA widely held but irrational belief in supernatural influences, especially as leading to good or bad luck, or a practice based on such a belief.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Some people just feel like they don\u2019t have it within them to find a better meaning from past relationship failures.<\/p>\n
Thus if they see that their relationships all end around the 18 month mark, they may end it themselves prematurely.<\/p>\n
Sounds silly, but this is what happens when you don\u2019t have the knowledge about how to make relationships last, or how to make a better meaning out of past breakups.<\/p>\n
There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report. <\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n6: ENVY<\/strong><\/h2>\nYep, envy.<\/p>\n
This is the reason not many people are talking about, but some people self sabotage relationships because they feel envious.<\/p>\n
Envy is that emotion that grates at you, reminding you of horrible things (either real of imagined), such as:<\/p>\n
\n- Your lower social status than a friend<\/li>\n
- Your lack of creativity in comparison to someone else<\/li>\n
- A lack of opportunities<\/li>\n
- A lack of beauty or natural goodness<\/li>\n
- A lack of basically anything that you perceive to be of value<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
If you\u2019re wondering whether someone envies you or not, here are 12 Secretive Signs Someone Envies You.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\nPeople don\u2019t like to be repeatedly exposed to envy.<\/p>\n
And the sad part is that instead of confronting it and dealing with it, most people prefer to push it far away from their conscious mind, making it even worse.<\/p>\n
The more you resist envy, the more it persists.<\/p>\n
But sometimes people get really sick of constantly envying someone.<\/p>\n
So out of desperation, and out of being irritated with the emotion, they push people away and sabotage a relationship subconsciously (or consciously, if they happen to be more self aware.)<\/p>\n
See, when they push the envied person away, they no longer have to feel the envy. This makes for a more comfortable life for a person who is feeling envious.<\/strong><\/p>\n7: The Inability to Attune to Others<\/strong><\/h2>\nAttunement is your ability to be at one with another person\u2019s thoughts, feelings and experiences.<\/p>\n
If you can\u2019t do that (or you don\u2019t want to do that) in your relationships, you\u2019re more at risk for sabotaging them.<\/p>\n
This is because you\u2019re so disconnected from your friends or lovers that you take drastic actions based on stories you make up in your head or sometimes even negative self-talk.<\/p>\n
\n![\"Self](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/lovers-1024x765.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n8: Laziness<\/strong><\/h2>\nBelieve it or not, some people sabotage their relationships due to laziness. Specifically, emotional laziness.<\/p>\n
They don\u2019t want to feel.\u00a0<\/p>\n
They want insulation from deeper, more vulnerable feelings, so they push their partner away and get hostile when things go deeper.<\/p>\n
Recommended: is He Pushing Me Away? 13 Sad Signs He Is + What to do About It.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\nIt seems absurd, but let me explain why laziness can make you sabotage relationships.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s because when your equilibrium rests more in being lazy, you won\u2019t want to be vulnerable in a relationships.<\/p>\n
You won\u2019t want to do the work to open up,<\/strong><\/a> discover yourself and your partner, or connect deeply with them.<\/p>\nYou\u2019ll want the kind of relationship that\u2019s superficial and easy, only going to it when you need something <\/strong>and avoiding any intimacy and extra work required of you.<\/p>\nThe aggression you show when your lover needs or wants more of you will be more than enough to sabotage any trust and love you\u2019ve built up together.<\/p>\n
QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!<\/span><\/b><\/a><\/p>\n9: You\u2019re A Small Person<\/strong><\/h2>\nThere\u2019s no \u201cnice\u201d way to put this. But sometimes people self sabotage their relationships because they\u2019re a small person.<\/p>\n
They\u2019re petty, narrow-minded, feel entitled or are just driven by fear.<\/p>\n
Fear of what?<\/p>\n
\n- Of expending energy<\/li>\n
- Of standing out<\/li>\n
- Of being vulnerable<\/li>\n
- Of having their true colors revealed<\/li>\n
- Of not being enough<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
So if they\u2019re with someone who doesn\u2019t dull their brilliance or radiance<\/strong><\/a>, but they refuse to meet them at their \u201chigher\u201d level because they\u2019re driven primarily by fear, then of course they will sabotage the relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\nTo explain it deeper, if you\u2019re a small person, you simply don\u2019t want to have to believe in something more for yourself, for your life, or for your relationship.<\/p>\n
Small people don\u2019t feel much hope, faith, love or appreciation.<\/p>\n
They tend to not believe in making themselves vulnerable, and they\u2019re resistant to new ideas and learning new things.<\/p>\n
They don\u2019t want to spend energy on those things. <\/p>\n
Instead of being a person of integrity, instead of working hard or believing in themselves, they may instead choose to suck up to others to gain approval or success in any realm.<\/p>\n
In other words, they prefer the \u201cslimy\u201d route to getting anything of perceived value.<\/p>\n
Because they\u2019re never vulnerable enough to truly connect and build trust with others.<\/strong><\/p>\nIf this sounds like they might be a narcissist, they could be, but some people aren\u2019t narcissists, they\u2019re just small people.<\/p>\n
Small people will sabotage almost anything important in their lives, simply because they cannot bring themselves to:<\/p>\n
\n- Care<\/li>\n
- To be courageous<\/li>\n
- To think deeper; or<\/li>\n
- To be vulnerable<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
What\u2019s more is that they are:<\/p>\n
\n- Easily triggered<\/li>\n
- Highly prone to envy<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n
- Feel more hatred; and<\/li>\n
- Cannot cope with as much as a bigger person can<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Self-sabotaging in relationships is common among small people because not only do they have less to give inside of a relationship, they simply can\u2019t handle facing themselves.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n(\u2026Which is always required inside of a strong committed relationship.)<\/p>\n
As such, small people will invariably self-sabotage their closest and most emotionally demanding relationships, especially if those relationships are with a securely attached,<\/strong><\/a> highly esteemed and successful (read: threatening) individual.\u00a0<\/p>\nSo hopefully you\u2019ve got a solid answer to why do I self sabotage my relationships. Now let\u2019s work on how to stop this deleterious behavior.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/blog-to-group.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\nHow Do I Stop Self Sabotage In My Relationships?<\/strong><\/h2>\n1: List Down The Reasons Why You Self Sabotage<\/strong><\/h3>\nFirstly, address the most likely reasons why you self sabotage.<\/p>\n
Try to narrow the reasons down to 2 or 3. Be very honest with yourself here.<\/p>\n
If it\u2019s your attachment style causing you to be insecure, then try to work towards what is called earned secure attachment.<\/a><\/p>\nAnd if you haven\u2019t taken our quiz to discover your specific, core attachment style, then CLICK here to take our free quiz.<\/strong><\/a> <\/strong>Once you\u2019ve completed the quiz, you will then be given:<\/p>\n\n- A detailed explanation for your specific attachment patterns<\/li>\n
- Why you have that attachment style<\/li>\n
- And what you can do to heal right now<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
If you self sabotage because of another reason, such as superstition, then find a better meaning for what has happened in your past.<\/p>\n
List down which reasons out of the 9 reasons above most apply to you and that\u2019s the best place to start.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/17AT-cta-blog.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n2: Allow Yourself to be More Vulnerable!<\/strong><\/h3>\nSecondly, allow yourself to be more vulnerable to men and to the right people, so that you can make connection your new equilibrium.<\/strong><\/p>\nBeing vulnerable is a key ingredient in all healthy relationships. In romantic relationships, of course being vulnerable can be extra hard.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s often done unconsciously through embodying all the parts of yourself that are the hardest (if not impossible) for someone else to love.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll subconsciously or consciously make their life difficult or even go so far as to make them despise you by being nasty, contemptuous, judgemental or just plain difficult to connect with.<\/p>\n
Recommended: What Every Woman Ought to Know About Trusting A Man.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Some examples of self sabotaging behaviors include:<\/p>\n Related: Can\u2019t Trust Anyone? 6 Hidden Signs They\u2019re Untrustworthy.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!<\/span><\/b> (All the answers you seek about him lie within these 8 questions.)<\/a><\/p>\n The reasons are multi-faceted and don\u2019t only <\/em>relate to neglect in infancy or to our attachment styles,<\/strong><\/a> although these factors certainly are related to self sabotaging behavior.<\/p>\n The reasons we self sabotage are a combination of:<\/p>\n Several of these reasons blend into each other.<\/p>\n For example, low self esteem is directly related to your attachment style as well as internal stress and anxiety.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s look at each of these reasons in depth right now.<\/p>\n If you have been asking why do I self sabotage my relationships, the core reason (from which a few of the other reasons stem from) is your attachment style.<\/p>\n Specifically, it\u2019s that you likely have what is called an insecure attachment style.<\/p>\n My husband and I prefer to call it \u201cinsecure attachment patterns\u201d, because that\u2019s what they are \u2013 patterns.<\/p>\n Patterns that are established long before you have a chance to be consciously aware of them, much less object to such an unfortunate and disadvantaged start to life.<\/p>\n So what are insecure attachment patterns?<\/p>\n Put simply, they refer to the way in which you behave when getting intimate with someone.<\/p>\n Now, to be clear: when I say getting intimate, I don\u2019t mean sex, although intimacy does include sex too.<\/p>\n I am referring specifically to intimacy, <\/em>which encompasses:<\/p>\n If you have insecure attachment, then you will have either:<\/p>\n More than likely, you\u2019ll show signs of all of the above three types of attachment styles, but usually people classify themselves into one main \u201ctype\u201d of attachment style.<\/p>\n So let\u2019s first discover which attachment style you have \u2013 you can do that with our quick and easy (women-specific) quiz\u2026<\/p>\n QUIZ TIME: Do I have secure or insecure attachment patterns? CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz!<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n (Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it\u2019s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)\u00a0<\/p>\n An insecure attachment style makes you sabotage your relationships subconsciously because you don\u2019t feel \u201csafe\u201d in love and intimacy.<\/p>\n Essentially, love, intimacy, trust and closeness is not your equilibrium.<\/p>\n Instead, your equilibrium lies in:\u00a0<\/p>\n Related: Dating & Disorganized Attachment: 5 Signs of It 7 FAQs.<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n When you\u2019re constantly anxious and stressed, you will self sabotage a lot.<\/p>\n But why is this?<\/p>\n It\u2019s because of a few reasons:<\/p>\n If you\u2019re in poor mental health, you\u2019ll be at risk of self sabotaging behaviors, because you do not want to (nor can you) make room for another person\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n Thus you push them away rather than keeping them close.<\/p>\n On that note, if you think you push people away, here are 7 signs you\u2019re pushing someone away (and why you do it).<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Now let\u2019s differentiate between depression and feeling dead inside. Because they can go hand in hand, but they don\u2019t have to.<\/em><\/p>\n Depression is more what someone goes through when their life circumstances don\u2019t meet their internal expectations or hopes.<\/p>\n Feeling dead inside can occur because you just can\u2019t connect to any emotions and you find it difficult to feel anything, whether it be sadness or elation.<\/p>\n This can be caused by trauma of course, or just an avoidant attachment style.<\/p>\n People who feel dead inside often can\u2019t cry and find it difficult to keep anyone close, because they don\u2019t embody the emotion necessary to have any kind of relationship.<\/p>\n It\u2019s no wonder they sabotage things, because not only can they not feel <\/em>anything, they usually do not even want to \u2013 or they have learned not to for whatever reason.<\/p>\n Thus they do things that push others away and ruin their chances of ever building intimacy with them.<\/p>\n By the way, did you know that there is one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that makes him love you deeply and want to take care of you for life?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Of course low self esteem is related to your attachment style, because if you\u2019re insecurely attached you are so because you don\u2019t believe you\u2019re enough or \u2018worthy\u2019 of intimacy and closeness.<\/p>\n Why do people with low self esteem sabotage their relationships?<\/p>\n Because they never quite feel worthy enough to receive someone else\u2019s love.<\/p>\n They tend to resent any genuine displays of love at worst, and shut off to them or push them away at best.<\/p>\n Basically, low self esteem and romantic relationships do not go together.<\/p>\n If you have low self esteem issues, you\u2019ll struggle to keep a relationship together and healthy,<\/strong><\/a> even if you manage to get married.<\/p>\n The trouble with low self esteem is that it doesn\u2019t matter how much your partner loves you, you won\u2019t ever truly feel<\/em> loved, because you don\u2019t love yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n By the way, have you seen our Goddess report? It\u2019s FREE! CLICK here to Learn How to Become the World\u2019s Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess<\/strong><\/a> (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention\u2026)<\/p>\n Yes, superstition can cause you to self sabotage even the most healthy relationship.<\/p>\n Due to lack of knowledge about human relationships and a lack of self awareness (of your thought processes and past traumas), you may sabotage a relationship because you think that\u2019s your destiny.<\/p>\n For example, perhaps you\u2019ve had many past relationships that ended at 3 months, or even 18 months.<\/p>\n So even if you get into a relationship with someone who loves you, your body \u201cremembers\u201d the past relationship failures at that exact timeline of the relationship, and due to superstition or a belief in \u201cbad luck\u201d, you\u2019ll turn on your partner and your relationship.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n Because you \u201cknow what\u2019s coming\u201d.<\/p>\n You think it\u2019s inevitable.<\/p>\n But what does superstition really mean?<\/p>\n It is defined as:<\/p>\n \u201cA widely held but irrational belief in supernatural influences, especially as leading to good or bad luck, or a practice based on such a belief.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Some people just feel like they don\u2019t have it within them to find a better meaning from past relationship failures.<\/p>\n Thus if they see that their relationships all end around the 18 month mark, they may end it themselves prematurely.<\/p>\n Sounds silly, but this is what happens when you don\u2019t have the knowledge about how to make relationships last, or how to make a better meaning out of past breakups.<\/p>\n There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report. <\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Yep, envy.<\/p>\n This is the reason not many people are talking about, but some people self sabotage relationships because they feel envious.<\/p>\n Envy is that emotion that grates at you, reminding you of horrible things (either real of imagined), such as:<\/p>\n If you\u2019re wondering whether someone envies you or not, here are 12 Secretive Signs Someone Envies You.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n People don\u2019t like to be repeatedly exposed to envy.<\/p>\n And the sad part is that instead of confronting it and dealing with it, most people prefer to push it far away from their conscious mind, making it even worse.<\/p>\n The more you resist envy, the more it persists.<\/p>\n But sometimes people get really sick of constantly envying someone.<\/p>\n So out of desperation, and out of being irritated with the emotion, they push people away and sabotage a relationship subconsciously (or consciously, if they happen to be more self aware.)<\/p>\n See, when they push the envied person away, they no longer have to feel the envy. This makes for a more comfortable life for a person who is feeling envious.<\/strong><\/p>\n Attunement is your ability to be at one with another person\u2019s thoughts, feelings and experiences.<\/p>\n If you can\u2019t do that (or you don\u2019t want to do that) in your relationships, you\u2019re more at risk for sabotaging them.<\/p>\n This is because you\u2019re so disconnected from your friends or lovers that you take drastic actions based on stories you make up in your head or sometimes even negative self-talk.<\/p>\n Believe it or not, some people sabotage their relationships due to laziness. Specifically, emotional laziness.<\/p>\n They don\u2019t want to feel.\u00a0<\/p>\n They want insulation from deeper, more vulnerable feelings, so they push their partner away and get hostile when things go deeper.<\/p>\n Recommended: is He Pushing Me Away? 13 Sad Signs He Is + What to do About It.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n It seems absurd, but let me explain why laziness can make you sabotage relationships.<\/p>\n It\u2019s because when your equilibrium rests more in being lazy, you won\u2019t want to be vulnerable in a relationships.<\/p>\n You won\u2019t want to do the work to open up,<\/strong><\/a> discover yourself and your partner, or connect deeply with them.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll want the kind of relationship that\u2019s superficial and easy, only going to it when you need something <\/strong>and avoiding any intimacy and extra work required of you.<\/p>\n The aggression you show when your lover needs or wants more of you will be more than enough to sabotage any trust and love you\u2019ve built up together.<\/p>\n QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!<\/span><\/b><\/a><\/p>\n There\u2019s no \u201cnice\u201d way to put this. But sometimes people self sabotage their relationships because they\u2019re a small person.<\/p>\n They\u2019re petty, narrow-minded, feel entitled or are just driven by fear.<\/p>\n Fear of what?<\/p>\n So if they\u2019re with someone who doesn\u2019t dull their brilliance or radiance<\/strong><\/a>, but they refuse to meet them at their \u201chigher\u201d level because they\u2019re driven primarily by fear, then of course they will sabotage the relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n To explain it deeper, if you\u2019re a small person, you simply don\u2019t want to have to believe in something more for yourself, for your life, or for your relationship.<\/p>\n Small people don\u2019t feel much hope, faith, love or appreciation.<\/p>\n They tend to not believe in making themselves vulnerable, and they\u2019re resistant to new ideas and learning new things.<\/p>\n They don\u2019t want to spend energy on those things. <\/p>\n Instead of being a person of integrity, instead of working hard or believing in themselves, they may instead choose to suck up to others to gain approval or success in any realm.<\/p>\n In other words, they prefer the \u201cslimy\u201d route to getting anything of perceived value.<\/p>\n Because they\u2019re never vulnerable enough to truly connect and build trust with others.<\/strong><\/p>\n If this sounds like they might be a narcissist, they could be, but some people aren\u2019t narcissists, they\u2019re just small people.<\/p>\n Small people will sabotage almost anything important in their lives, simply because they cannot bring themselves to:<\/p>\n What\u2019s more is that they are:<\/p>\n Self-sabotaging in relationships is common among small people because not only do they have less to give inside of a relationship, they simply can\u2019t handle facing themselves.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n (\u2026Which is always required inside of a strong committed relationship.)<\/p>\n As such, small people will invariably self-sabotage their closest and most emotionally demanding relationships, especially if those relationships are with a securely attached,<\/strong><\/a> highly esteemed and successful (read: threatening) individual.\u00a0<\/p>\n So hopefully you\u2019ve got a solid answer to why do I self sabotage my relationships. Now let\u2019s work on how to stop this deleterious behavior.<\/p>\n Firstly, address the most likely reasons why you self sabotage.<\/p>\n Try to narrow the reasons down to 2 or 3. Be very honest with yourself here.<\/p>\n If it\u2019s your attachment style causing you to be insecure, then try to work towards what is called earned secure attachment.<\/a><\/p>\n And if you haven\u2019t taken our quiz to discover your specific, core attachment style, then CLICK here to take our free quiz.<\/strong><\/a> <\/strong>Once you\u2019ve completed the quiz, you will then be given:<\/p>\n If you self sabotage because of another reason, such as superstition, then find a better meaning for what has happened in your past.<\/p>\n List down which reasons out of the 9 reasons above most apply to you and that\u2019s the best place to start.<\/p>\n Secondly, allow yourself to be more vulnerable to men and to the right people, so that you can make connection your new equilibrium.<\/strong><\/p>\n Being vulnerable is a key ingredient in all healthy relationships. In romantic relationships, of course being vulnerable can be extra hard.<\/p>\nWhat Are Examples of Self-Sabotage In Relationships?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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Why Do I Self Sabotage My Relationships?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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<\/a><\/figure>\n1: Your Attachment Style<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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2: Internal Stress And Anxiety<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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<\/a>3: Depression Or Feeling Dead Inside<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n4: Low Self Esteem<\/strong><\/h2>\n
5: Superstition<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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6: ENVY<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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7: The Inability to Attune to Others<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n8: Laziness<\/strong><\/h2>\n
9: You\u2019re A Small Person<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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<\/a><\/figure>\nHow Do I Stop Self Sabotage In My Relationships?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
1: List Down The Reasons Why You Self Sabotage<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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<\/a><\/figure>\n2: Allow Yourself to be More Vulnerable!<\/strong><\/h3>\n