{"id":7117,"date":"2023-12-20T23:04:17","date_gmt":"2023-12-20T17:34:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\/blog\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\/"},"modified":"2023-12-20T23:04:17","modified_gmt":"2023-12-20T17:34:17","slug":"11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\/blog\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Signs Your Girlfriend Was Sexually Abused In The Past And How To Help Her"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> [ad_1]<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"text\">\n<p>Relationships, at the best of times, are challenging affairs to navigate, and past sexual trauma makes them even more difficult. A <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.who.int\/news\/item\/09-03-2021-devastatingly-pervasive-1-in-3-women-globally-experience-violence\">WHO report<\/a> states that 1 in 3 women are subjected to physical or sexual violence globally. Even more worrying is that 1 in 4 girls\/women aged 15 to 24 years have experienced some form of sexual abuse or violence by an intimate partner. Have you been seeing everyday signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past, and is part of these alarming statistics? If you\u2019re dating a sexual abuse survivor, then you need to educate yourself on this subject.<\/p>\n<p>So, what constitutes sexual abuse and sexual trauma? According to psychologist <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/nandita-rambhia\/?originalSubdomain=in\">Nandita Rambhia<\/a> (MSc Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couple\u2019s counseling, sexual abuse is defined as \u201cexposure of a person to any kind of inappropriate sexual behavior by another person. The abuse could be physical, sexual assault, molestation or rape, or could also include verbal sexual abuse. Sexual trauma occurs when sexual abuse causes the victim a great deal of stress and prevents them from functioning optimally.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s try to identify the signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past. So that you can support her with a greater degree of sensitivity and awareness.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"11_Possible_Signs_Your_Girlfriend_Was_Sexually_Abused_In_The_Past\"\/>11 Possible Signs Your Girlfriend Was Sexually Abused In The Past\u00a0\u00a0<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h2>\n<p>The American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.acog.org\/clinical\/clinical-guidance\/committee-opinion\/articles\/2011\/08\/adult-manifestations-of-childhood-sexual-abuse\">(ACOG)<\/a> defines sexual abuse, especially <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/haunted-by-childhood-abuse-how-do-i-move-forward\/\">child sexual abuse<\/a>, as any type of sexual activity where consent is not or cannot be given. This will include any sexual contact that is accomplished by force or the threat of force. Legal definitions vary by state, and state guidelines are available <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childwelfare.gov\/systemwide\/laws_policies\/state\">here<\/a>. If you go through these, you might even spot subtle signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past, even when she\u2019s not vocal about it.<\/p>\n<p>Some people think they \u2018deserve\u2019 to know the details of their partner\u2019s past abuse. A Reddit <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/AMerrickanGirl\/\">user<\/a> says, \u201cReliving it isn\u2019t necessarily a healthy thing to do with you. Maybe in therapy with a trained counselor, but again, that\u2019s her choice. This isn\u2019t about you.\u201d Another Reddit <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/promise_of_deceit\/\">user<\/a> says, \u201cIt\u2019s a personal tragedy that I have no place in needing to know \u2026 Exposing the wound just so you can take a look inside when she hasn\u2019t healed enough will just make things worse.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This is why we\u2019ve created a list of signs someone was sexually abused in the past, so you know exactly how to support your partner even when she\u2019s not ready to share.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/what-is-abuse-in-a-relationship\/\">What Is Abuse In A Relationship?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Your_partner_has_difficulty_with_intimacy\"\/>1. Your partner has difficulty with intimacy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Having a difficult time building an intimate relationship is a common sign that your partner may have been sexually abused in the past. Those with a history of past sexual abuse often have difficulty in forming and maintaining emotional intimacy with their partners. This stems from their traumatic experiences of sexual abuse, which makes it difficult for them to trust others and <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/examples-of-being-vulnerable-with-a-man\/\">be vulnerable with a man<\/a>. The fear of being hurt again may manifest in several ways:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Reluctance to open up about their thoughts and feelings<\/li>\n<li>Changing topics when the conversation gets deep<\/li>\n<li>Signs of discomfort with physical touch like hugs and caresses<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Recognizing these signs of sexual abuse for what they are will help deal with the issue. Do not read her responses as indicative of rejection or a lack of interest but rather as a coping mechanism. This will create a safe and supportive environment in which your girlfriend can learn to deal with her fears and become comfortable with intimacy. Empower her and focus on the things she can do well, instead of what she\u2019s unable to.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_She_avoids_sexual_contact\"\/>2. She avoids sexual contact<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/acounbkg\/?bookid=Nandita%20Rambhia\">Nandita<\/a> says, \u201cAvoiding sexual contact is one of the more obvious signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past. She may seem traumatized and scared of sexual touch.\u201d This <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/reasons-wife-avoids-intimacy\/\">avoidance of sexual intimacy<\/a> may take different forms, such as:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>She flinches from physical touch<\/li>\n<li>Her body may tense up during physically intimate moments<\/li>\n<li>She remains unresponsive to any advances<\/li>\n<li>She avoids any suggestion of engaging in sexual activity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Avoiding sexual relationships is common for those with a sexual abuse history or those who have been through childhood sexual abuse. The past sexual trauma will have affected your girlfriend\u2019s understanding of what intimate relationships are all about. In her mind, intimacy and sex have negative associations with pain and trauma. Overcoming this can take a long, and often painful, process of healing and grief.\u00a0<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/role-of-consent\/\">Role of Consent: Can No Mean Something Else?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Some sexual abuse survivors try to avoid any triggers that may remind them of the incident(s). These will include locations, discussions, acts, or even positions that may make them feel vulnerable. It is important for you, as a partner and loved one, to be understanding and to provide emotional support.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><picture><source data-lazy-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor.jpg.webp 1250w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-300x168.jpg.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-800x448.jpg.webp 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-768x430.jpg.webp 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1250px) 100vw, 1250px\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1250\" height=\"700\" alt=\"dating a sexual abuse survivor\" class=\"wp-image-502881 webpexpress-processed\" style=\"object-fit:cover\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor.jpg 1250w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-800x448.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-768x430.jpg 768w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 1250px) 100vw, 1250px\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor.jpg\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1250\" height=\"700\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor.jpg\" alt=\"dating a sexual abuse survivor\" class=\"wp-image-502881 webpexpress-processed\" style=\"object-fit:cover\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor.jpg 1250w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-800x448.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/dating-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-768x430.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1250px) 100vw, 1250px\"\/><\/noscript><\/source><\/picture><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">The trauma of past sexual abuse may make your partner uncomfortable with physical intimacy<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Signs_someone_was_sexually_abused_in_the_past_Flashbacks_andor_recurrent_nightmares\"\/>3. Signs someone was sexually abused in the past: Flashbacks and\/or recurrent nightmares<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>The signs of your girlfriend having survived sexual abuse in the past are remarkably similar to PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder. This remains true even if the incident occurred a long time ago. Pressurizing her in any way will just aggravate the situation and alienate her further.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>According to Nandita, \u201cSymptoms of PTSD are common amongst those who have been sexually abused. These would include flashbacks of the past and recurrent nightmares. These are signs that her brain is trying to process and come to terms with the traumatic event of her past. Along with this, she may also suffer from disturbed sleep and insomnia. She might dissociate a lot too.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/she-helped-him-heal-from-sexual-trauma\/\">How She Helped Him Heal From Sexual Trauma<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_She_may_suffer_from_depression_anxiety_and_panic_attacks\"\/>4. She may suffer from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Nandita says, \u201cFor abuse survivors, certain situations may trigger heightened anxiety or depression. The situations may be centered around certain people or places, things that in her mind are associated with past trauma. The anxiety may manifest as emotional outbursts which seem disproportionate to the moment, seemingly caused by unrelated events.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dealing with these <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/social-anxiety-and-dating\/\">dating and social anxiety<\/a> or panic attacks, says Nandita, will require acceptance and acknowledgment on both your parts that her current behavior is rooted in her past abuse. It will need to be treated with great love and compassion. Getting her to seek support from a trauma-informed mental health professional would also be greatly beneficial to her.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_An_abuse_survivor_might_be_clingy\"\/>5. An abuse survivor might be clingy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Dating a sexual abuse survivor may mean having to put up with clinginess. This type of behavior is usually caused by the fear of being abandoned and may lead to an over-dependence on your relationship. While this can prove difficult at times, it would do well to remember that her past abuse caused these negative beliefs.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/signs-clingy-girlfriend\/\">Being clingy in a relationship<\/a> is her coping mechanism, helping her deal with her vulnerabilities, and once again calls for plenty of patience, understanding, and compassion on your part, as well as gentle boundaries.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Your_girlfriend_might_be_a_people-pleaser\"\/>6. Your girlfriend might be a people-pleaser<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>She may be unable to say no to people, even when it is at the cost of her boundaries and will. This is typical people-pleasing behavior. While it is her way of ensuring stability and no confrontations, it does not make for healthy relationships. The behavior is typical of <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/signs-of-low-self-esteem-in-a-woman\/\">people who suffer from low self-esteem<\/a> and is directly linked to her past sexual abuse, which has deeply affected her self-image.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMy partner went through sexual abuse at an early age,\u201d shares 25-year-old Rick from Montana. \u201cShe often said yes to small things in the relationship, which I could detect she wasn\u2019t really into. Certain trip plans, or where to eat, or how to spend a day. I started thinking that I don\u2019t really know her. She ultimately told me some things about her past and has now been trying to, over the last six months, say \u2018no\u2019 when she\u2019s not into something. It\u2019s a big deal for her to be able to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/women-want-from-men\/\">What Women Want From Men<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_Sign_that_you_are_dating_a_sexual_abuse_survivor_She_has_low_self-esteem_and_low_self-worth\"\/>7. Sign that you are dating a sexual abuse survivor: She has low self-esteem and low self-worth<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>\u201cSurvivors of sexual abuse might feel a lot of shame, guilt, and humiliation over their past trauma due to societal stigma or upbringing. As a result, they often suffer from low self-esteem,\u201d says Nandita. Sexual assault and sexual abuse survivors are often made to believe that they are to blame for the abuse. These feelings of shame and guilt over time contribute to a feeling of worthlessness. This can manifest in many ways:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Lack of self-confidence<\/li>\n<li>Withdrawn behavior, especially in large groups<\/li>\n<li>Indecisiveness: Approval is sought before\/after almost every decision<\/li>\n<li>Signs of self-harm or self-injury<\/li>\n<li>Substance abuse<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You need to remind yourself repeatedly that these behaviors are not a part of her natural personality but have been caused by her sexual abuse experience. She\u2019ll need time, empowerment, and <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/emotional-validation-meaning-importance-signs\/\">emotional validation <\/a>to slowly rebuild her self-image and gradually lift her self-esteem. For more serious issues such as substance abuse and\/or alcohol abuse, you should get her to seek professional help or, at the very least, seek support from friends or support groups to get her started on her healing journey.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_You_notice_self-destructive_patterns\"\/>8. You notice self-destructive patterns<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>What are the signs of sexual abuse that are sometimes the hardest to deal with? We asked our readers. \u201cA pattern of self-destructive behavior. It was a coping mechanism that my girlfriend exhibited to deal with her intense emotions from past trauma. I had to stand on the sidelines and watch her punish herself for a long time,\u201d shares Ling, 27, a reader from San Francisco.<\/p>\n<p>Self-destructive behaviors may include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>High-risk sexual activity<\/li>\n<li>Rash driving<\/li>\n<li>Substance abuse<\/li>\n<li>Talking about or even <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/suicidal-tendencies-how-know-risk\/\">attempting suicide<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Aggressive behavior and getting into fights and arguments<\/li>\n<li>Refusing to eat or drink water<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/how-to-deal-with-domestic-abuse-during-lockdown\/\">How To Deal With Domestic Abuse During Lockdown<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>In a <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/link.springer.com\/article\/10.1007\/BF02102969\">study<\/a> on childhood sexual abuse as a precursor to self-destructive behavior in adulthood, it was concluded that the more frequent the abuse and the longer its duration, the more depression and self-destructiveness was reported in adulthood. The above behaviors are caused by deep-rooted emotional pain and are not a conscious choice. So try to <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/be-more-empathetic-in-relationship\/\">be more empathetic <\/a>while approaching such situations and keep a non-judgemental frame of mind. And help her seek a mental health professional who can provide her with the tools to deal with these sexual abuse after-effects.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bit.ly\/3nNaGla\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"More on Abuse\" class=\"wp-image-505985\" style=\"object-fit:cover\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/On-Abuse-3.jpg\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/On-Abuse-3.jpg\" alt=\"More on Abuse\" class=\"wp-image-505985\" style=\"object-fit:cover\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9_There_are_physical_symptoms_of_sexual_abuse_too\"\/>9. There are physical symptoms of sexual abuse too<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Physical signs of past sexual trauma may not be very apparent to you. A medical professional will be more adept at spotting these signs. Some of the common physical symptoms would include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Chronic pain in the abdominal or pelvic region<\/li>\n<li>Eating disorders\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Self-neglect\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>As per a <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0145213497000136\">study<\/a>, there is an increased likelihood of substance addiction as a result of past <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/sexual-abuse-trauma-intimacy-issues\/\">sexual abuse trauma<\/a>\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Being physically inactive<\/li>\n<li>Obesity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>For these reasons, it is essential for your girlfriend to seek therapy. Getting her to do so would require plenty of patience on your part and should not be rushed.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/emotional-abuse-checklist-18-devastating-signs\/\">Emotional Abuse Checklist \u2013 18 Devastating Signs<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10_Your_girlfriend_might_display_varied_sex-related_behaviors\"\/>10. Your girlfriend might display varied sex-related behaviors<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>As stated earlier, your girlfriend may have trouble with intimacy and sexual contact. But you may notice other effects too:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Her association of sexual activity with physical pain and violation may cause disturbances in her sexual desire levels as well as in arousal, causing her to experience a degree of sexual dysfunction<\/li>\n<li>Or she may have a history of multiple sexual partners<\/li>\n<li>She may have contracted <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/ways-to-protect-yourself-from-sexually-transmitted-diseases-stds\/\">sexually transmitted diseases<\/a>, including HIV, in part due to low self-worth and not caring about her well-being\u00a0<\/li>\n<li><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/dpi.wi.gov\/sites\/default\/files\/imce\/sspw\/pdf\/inspireriskbehaviors_2004.pdf\">Studies <\/a>have shown that unwanted pregnancies or sex work are associated with sexual abuse, too<\/li>\n<li>She might not want to have any discussion around sexual assault and harassment with you, or may go quiet when such conversations occur in a group setting<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"11_She_might_suffer_from_gynecological_issues\"\/>11. She might suffer from gynecological issues<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>A <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/2745177\/\">study<\/a> on abuse and gynecologic health showed that 61% of raped or abused women had some form of sexual .dysfunction. Almost the same percentage had gynecologic problems. Your girlfriend may also be suffering from gynecological issues such as chronic pelvic pain, dyspareunia, vaginismus, and non-specific vaginitis.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>She is less likely to have had regular Pap tests and may be reluctant to consult a doctor, often brushing off any ailment as something minor. She needs trauma-informed care from someone who understands that it\u2019s not easy for her to get an invasive procedure like a Pap test.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Important_resources_for_sexual_abuse_survivors\"\/>Important resources for sexual abuse survivors<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>All mental health experts would agree that the consequences of sexual abuse are varied and long-lasting, and the road to recovery is long and fraught with difficulties. Below are some resources that can help you deal with this subject:<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/why-would-she-stay-with-an-abusive-relationship\/\">Why Would She Stay In An Abusive Relationship?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_To_Approach_The_Topic_Of_Sexual_Abuse_With_Your_Girlfriend\"\/>How To Approach The Topic Of Sexual Abuse With Your Girlfriend\u00a0<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h2>\n<p>Loving a sexual assault survivor means you need to be an ally to the movements where survivors and victims are believed. Should you suspect that your girlfriend has been sexually assaulted or sexually abused in the past, take care in how you approach this topic with her. Some recommendations on how to handle this tactfully include:\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Ensure that this conversation is attempted in a quiet and safe space with no distractions or interruptions\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Start by letting her know of your concern and that you desire to support her<\/li>\n<li>Helping your girlfriend through trauma recovery from sexual abuse will require plenty of knowledge and empathy on your part<\/li>\n<li>You need to understand the <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/fundamentals-of-support-in-relationship\/\">fundamentals of support<\/a> to create a consistently kind, nurturing environment where she feels safe and not judged<\/li>\n<li>She will be more likely to open up when she is ready to talk about it, and trying to force her may achieve the opposite effect<\/li>\n<li>Do not judge her, and be respectful of her boundaries<\/li>\n<li>Whenever you hear on the news or in your social circle that someone has been abused, show her where your solidarity lies so she knows you are a consistently safe person to speak to<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><picture><source data-lazy-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past.jpg.webp 1250w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-300x168.jpg.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-800x448.jpg.webp 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-768x430.jpg.webp 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1250px) 100vw, 1250px\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1250\" height=\"700\" alt=\"signs someone was sexually abused in the past\" class=\"wp-image-502878 webpexpress-processed\" style=\"object-fit:cover\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past.jpg 1250w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-800x448.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-768x430.jpg 768w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 1250px) 100vw, 1250px\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past.jpg\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1250\" height=\"700\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past.jpg\" alt=\"signs someone was sexually abused in the past\" class=\"wp-image-502878 webpexpress-processed\" style=\"object-fit:cover\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past.jpg 1250w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-800x448.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/signs-someone-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-768x430.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1250px) 100vw, 1250px\"\/><\/noscript><\/source><\/picture><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Address the issue of sexual abuse of your girlfriend with a lot of patience, love, and zero judgment<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>An <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.quora.com\/search?q=how%20to%20approach%20the%20topic%20of%20sexual%20abuse%20with%20your%20girlfriend\">anonymous author<\/a> on Quora who had experienced sexual abuse had this to say about broaching the topic with a loved one: \u201cIt is important that you treat it in a matter-of-fact way and not as a stigma.\u201d She adds that you should tell her there are plenty of people who have been through the same ordeal, and that she\u2019s not alone.<\/p>\n<p>The first step in achieving this, says Nandita, is acknowledging that there is an issue. The desire to move forward and seek help will only come after this. The <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.acog.org\/clinical\/clinical-guidance\/committee-opinion\/articles\/2011\/08\/adult-manifestations-of-childhood-sexual-abuse\">ACOG website<\/a> states clearly that traumatized patients generally benefit from mental health care. In this regard, your girlfriend\u2019s obstetrician\/gynecologist can be a powerful ally in helping her heal by offering support and referring her to a therapist with significant experience in dealing with abuse-related issues.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/mental-health-issues-and-seeking-help\/\">Mental Health Issues On The Rise \u2013 Identifying And Seeking Help<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_To_Help_Your_Girlfriend_Heal_From_Sexual_Trauma\"\/>How To Help Your Girlfriend Heal From Sexual Trauma\u00a0<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h2>\n<p>Nandita reminds you that, as a partner, you need to be extremely sensitive to the fact that she has suffered past sexual abuse. Being sensitive requires you to have a high level of understanding of the issue. She suggests dealing with it very slowly, with much patience and care. One of the first things to remember is that every survivor is different, having been affected in a unique manner. This makes their journey in recovering from the trauma unique.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>A Reddit <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/the_irate_pirate\/\">user<\/a> shares, \u201cDon\u2019t try and force her to talk about it if she isn\u2019t ready. Keep making yourself available and <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/how-you-can-improve-your-relationship-by-listening-better\/\">be a good listener<\/a>. Don\u2019t treat her any differently, it could make her feel more alienated. Let her lead her own healing process, but be there to support her along the way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here are some of the steps that you can take:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Go through survivor stories and research; learn about sexual abuse and its effects (during and after) and all the reasons a person doesn\u2019t\/can\u2019t speak up<\/li>\n<li>Be open-minded and attentive when listening to her<\/li>\n<li>Never blame her. Tell her she didn\u2019t deserve any of this<\/li>\n<li>Focus on building trust with her by doing activities that make her feel safe and happy: As a team, adopt healthy habits such as eating healthy or regular exercise. Pick a <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/hobbies-for-couples\/\">hobby for couples<\/a> and pursue it together<\/li>\n<li>Avoid giving unsolicited advice<\/li>\n<li>Avoid pressuring her when it comes to talking about the past<\/li>\n<li>Avoid pressuring her when it comes to intimate matters. If you can\u2019t do this, you should step away from the relationship gently<\/li>\n<li>Encourage her to meet friends and family, and to maintain a journal<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t treat her like she\u2019s fragile, and don\u2019t pity her<\/li>\n<li>Find out online or in-person support groups and share the information with her<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Support_Yourself_While_Supporting_Your_Girlfriend\"\/>Support Yourself While Supporting Your Girlfriend<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h2>\n<p>Loving a sexual assault survivor is easy, if you\u2019re a good ally to sexual abuse victims and survivors, regardless of their gender. But learning allyship, without pause, can drain you emotionally. Remember to take care of your emotional well-being and <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/self-love-tips\/\">practice self-love<\/a>. You can only help her if you are well, so do not hesitate to seek the help and support of friends and family, or your therapist.<\/p>\n<div class=\"key-pointer\">\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Key_Pointers\"\/>Key Pointers<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Here are some signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past: Difficulty with intimacy, either verbal or physical, different degrees of discomfort with sex, disturbed sleep, anxiety, or panic attacks<\/li>\n<li>The long-term effects of sexual abuse vary widely and can affect a survivor in all areas of their life, from the physical to the mental as well as emotional<\/li>\n<li>Dealing with a survivor of sexual abuse can be challenging and calls for a lot of understanding, empathy, and patience<\/li>\n<li>Seeking help from a professional will go a long way in mitigating these challenges<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>Try to remain non-judgemental and patient in your dealings with her, and don\u2019t associate her silence on this topic as an indication of lack of trust in you. If either of you needs support, skilled and licensed counselors on <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/online-love-and-relationship-counseling\/\">Bonobology\u2019s panel<\/a> are always here for you. We know you both got this.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/relationship-bullying\/\">Relationship Bully \u2013 What Is It And 5 Signs You Are A Victim<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/date-rape-drugs\/\">Date Rape: What It Is And What Are Date Rape Drugs?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/what-happens-no-one-asks-consent\/\">What Happens When Neither Of You Asks For Consent?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"border: 2px solid black; border-radius: 15px; text-align: center; padding: 15px; margin: 10px 0;\">\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Ask_Our_Expert\"\/>Ask Our Expert<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p class=\"must-log-in\">You must be Logged in to ask a question.<\/p>\n<p><button onclick=\"location.href=\" https:=\"\" style=\"color: white; background-color: #ff3778; border: none; padding: 10px 15px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer;\">Login\/Register<\/button><\/div>\n<p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[ad_2]<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[ad_1] Relationships, at the best of times, are challenging affairs to navigate, and past sexual trauma makes them even more difficult. A WHO report states that 1 in 3 women are subjected to physical or sexual violence globally. Even more worrying is that 1 in 4 girls\/women aged 15 to 24 years have experienced some [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7118,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.5 (Yoast SEO v27.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>11 Signs Your Girlfriend Was Sexually Abused In The Past And How To Help Her - Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Perth - Perthescortsdirectory.com.au<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\/blog\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"11 Signs Your Girlfriend Was Sexually Abused In The Past And How To Help Her - Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Perth - Perthescortsdirectory.com.au\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[ad_1] Relationships, at the best of times, are challenging affairs to navigate, and past sexual trauma makes them even more difficult. 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Even more worrying is that 1 in 4 girls\/women aged 15 to 24 years have experienced some [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\/blog\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Perth - Perthescortsdirectory.com.au\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-12-20T17:34:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1250\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"700\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"16 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/1fd9e56d019f25ac3d599c3dd4d05653\"},\"headline\":\"11 Signs Your Girlfriend Was Sexually Abused In The Past And How To Help Her\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-12-20T17:34:17+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":3148,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/12\\\/your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past.jpg\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\\\/blog\\\/11-signs-your-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-in-the-past-and-how-to-help-her\\\/\",\"name\":\"11 Signs Your Girlfriend Was Sexually Abused In The Past And How To Help Her - 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