{"id":6740,"date":"2023-12-06T12:04:05","date_gmt":"2023-12-06T06:34:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\/blog\/how-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-cant-control-you\/"},"modified":"2023-12-06T12:04:05","modified_gmt":"2023-12-06T06:34:05","slug":"how-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-cant-control-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\/blog\/how-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-cant-control-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How Does A Narcissist React When They Can\u2019t Control You?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> [ad_1]<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"text\">\n<p>While talking about narcissism in his bestselling book <em>The Art of Loving<\/em>, psychoanalyst Erich Fromm said, \u201cThe main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one\u2019s narcissism.\u201d And he was right. Narcissism can, in many cases prevent a healthy relationship from blossoming, because nothing or nobody is more important to narcissists than their own selves. Control is the hallmark of a narcissist\u2019s character. But how does a narcissist react when they can\u2019t control you? And how does a narcissist feel when you don\u2019t beg and plead to save the relationship?<\/p>\n<p>You can be sure that a narcissist wouldn\u2019t take indifference lying down. When you take control away from a narcissist, they wouldn\u2019t even let go of you and would want to continue victimizing you initially. In this article, with the help of our expert relationship counselor <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/dhriti-bhavsar-332aa4207\">Dhriti Bhavsar<\/a> (Master\u2019s degree in Psychology, with specialization in Clinical Psychology), whose expertise includes areas such as relationships, pre-marital counseling, LGBTQ+ issues, and breakups, we will delve deeper into what happens when a narcissist knows he is losing or discovers she is being left. So, read on to get answers to your burning question, \u201cHow does a narcissist act when they lose you?\u201d, and save yourself from narcissistic abuse.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_Does_A_Narcissistic_Person_Control_You\"\/>How Does A Narcissistic Person Control You?\u00a0<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h2>\n<p>It\u2019s common knowledge that narcissists thrive on attention. They are people with excessive <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/self-love-tips\/\">self-love <\/a>and a constant need to feel special. They also lack empathy or romantic feelings and aggressively dominate those around them or use them for their own benefit. <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bpded.biomedcentral.com\/articles\/10.1186\/s40479-020-00132-8\">Research<\/a> has proved time and again that pathological narcissists show a number of marked character traits. So, people with grandiose narcissism (originating from an innate superiority complex) can show:\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Arrogance<\/li>\n<li>Entitlement<\/li>\n<li>Envy<\/li>\n<li>Charm<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>While people with <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/vulnerable-narcissist\/\">vulnerable narcissism<\/a> (stemming from a lack of self-esteem) show:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Insecurity<\/li>\n<li>Devaluation<\/li>\n<li>Emptiness<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/21-stages-of-a-narcissistic-relationship-with-an-empath\/\">21 Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship With An Empath<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>But how does a narcissist act when they need to control you? Dhriti explains, \u201cNarcissists mostly rely on tactics of emotional manipulation to control people. They have no concern for a person\u2019s feelings.\u201d And these tactics are tools for narcissists to overpower their loved ones and others around them. So, let\u2019s take a look at some of these manipulative actions that narcissists employ:<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Gaslighting\"\/>1. Gaslighting<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Gaslighting is the act of making you doubt your sanity by negating your feelings, and narcissists are masters of this act of manipulation. Dhriti says, \u201cFor narcissists, it\u2019s all about preventing the victim from bringing up any <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/relationship-doubts\/\">relationship doubt<\/a> or issues by denying their truth or recollection of events. So, in such cases, narcissists may use statements such as: \u201cYou\u2019re remembering things wrong\u201d or \u201cIt wasn\u2019t that bad,\u201d to make the victim question themselves and second guess their own experiences and feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><picture><source data-lazy-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-800x448.jpg.webp 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-300x168.jpg.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-768x430.jpg.webp 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you.jpg.webp 1250w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" alt=\"when a narcissist realizes they lost you\" class=\"wp-image-502300 webpexpress-processed\" style=\"object-fit:cover;width:1250px;height:700px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-800x448.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-768x430.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you.jpg 1250w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-800x448.jpg\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-800x448.jpg\" alt=\"when a narcissist realizes they lost you\" class=\"wp-image-502300 webpexpress-processed\" style=\"object-fit:cover;width:1250px;height:700px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-800x448.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you-768x430.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-lost-you.jpg 1250w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\"\/><\/noscript><\/source><\/picture><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Gaslighting is a typical narcissistic trait when a narcissist starts losing control over you<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Love_bombing_and_ghosting\"\/>2. Love bombing and ghosting\u00a0<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Another tactic that narcissists use to gain control is a conscious mix of <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/narcissist-love-bombing\/\">love bombing<\/a> and ghosting. Love bombing is when they shower excessive love on someone while ghosting entails cutting all contact and communication without any explanation.<\/p>\n<p>Dhriti adds, \u201cNarcissists make sure it\u2019s a constant cat-and-mouse chase. When they\u2019re giving you attention, there\u2019s so much that you don\u2019t know what to do with it. They will shower you with gifts, time, and sweet words. They will make you feel on top of the world. Then, all of a sudden, they\u2019ll back off completely and ghost you. There will be no contact and no reply to texts or calls. Even if they do eventually respond, they will be emotionally distant and cold. This might make the victim emotionally insecure and reliant on the narcissist to make them feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Playing_the_victim_card\"\/>3. Playing the victim card<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Narcissists are always the victims in their own eyes. They never own up to their faults, feel guilty for their wrongdoings, or <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/accountability-in-relationships\/\">take accountability for their actions<\/a>.\u00a0Dhriti says, \u201cEven if the actual victim tries to bring something up that the narcissist did to hurt them, the narcissist will turn it on its head and take that chance to criticize everything the victim does.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Projection\"\/>4. Projection<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Projection is a defense mechanism that narcissists often use. It entails displacing one\u2019s negative feelings onto someone else. Dhriti adds, \u201cNarcissists believe they\u2019re perfect. So, when they\u2019re comforted with the truth about their flaws, it causes them distress. They then start accusing people around them of doing the same thing. For instance, if they\u2019re jealous of someone, they might accuse the other person of being jealous of them and trying to sabotage them.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/what-a-narcissist-does-at-the-end-of-a-relationship\/\">A Rundown On What A Narcissist Does At The End Of A Relationship<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Lying\"\/>5. Lying<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Narcissists are master liars and often lie to make other people look like the \u2018villains\u2019 of their story, so as to make themselves look better in comparison. Dhriti explains, \u201cNarcissists lie so convincingly that the person hearing their tales feels compelled to believe them and pity them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, now that we know about the methods employed by narcissists to gain control over others, you might be wondering how these <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/signs-control-freak\/\">control freaks<\/a> react when they lose grip on their partners or their victim decides to fight back. Well, let\u2019s look at a few such cases.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"11_Reactions_You_Can_Expect_When_A_Narcissist_Realizes_They_Lost_You\"\/>11 Reactions You Can Expect When A Narcissist Realizes They Lost You<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h2>\n<p>So, how does a narcissist react when they can\u2019t control you? Well, when a narcissist loses control over their victim, it\u2019s like a child losing his toy. You see, narcissists love drama and they act up markedly when they can\u2019t manipulate their victims. So, when you take control away from a narcissist, they feel they may have lost someone who probably stroked their ego.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>This results in a loss of self-importance and can lead to very strong reactions from the narcissist. A simple answer to \u201cHow does a narcissist feel when you don\u2019t beg and plead?\u201d is that they can\u2019t accept the harsh reality. And their behavior can be unpredictable. Being the center of their own universe, narcissists tend to project themselves as victims when their partners break free from their abuse. <\/p>\n<p>When you <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/how-to-make-a-narcissist-miserable\/\">make a narcissist miserable<\/a> by beating them at their own game, they might initially try and win you back, but eventually, they may display narcissistic rage and cut you off completely. Let\u2019s look at 11 reactions that one can expect when a narcissist realizes they lost you:\u00a0<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/signs-of-covert-narcissist-hoovering\/\">8 Signs Of Covert Narcissist Hoovering And How You Should Respond<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Baiting\"\/>1. Baiting<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>The first answer to \u201cHow does a narcissist react when they can\u2019t control you?,\u201d is that they will try their best to get a reaction out of you or get you to talk. Dhriti explains, \u201cMost commonly, what works is anger. Narcissists will deliberately say or do things that make you mad. For instance, they can reach out to and bother your friends, in an effort to get to you, or say things to you that might trigger you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Baiting can also involve making a person feel scared, guilt-tripping, or falsely accusing them of something. A Reddit <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/paper_schemes\/\">user<\/a>, while talking about her <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/11-tips-to-deal-with-a-narcissist-smartly\/\">narcissistic boyfriend <\/a>whom she left, said, \u201cHe has tried to guilt me into talking to him by saying relatives have passed away or are sick.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Back_to_love_bombing\"\/>2. Back to love bombing\u00a0<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>When baiting doesn\u2019t work, narcissists might start showering you with love, the same way they did in the initial days, but for all the wrong reasons. Dhriti explains, \u201cThis sudden love bombing may make you question your judgment of moving away from them because they\u2019ll seem like this amazing person and make you feel great about yourself. In such cases, they might try to remind you of <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/quality-time-love-language-meaning-ideas-examples\/\">quality times you spent together<\/a> in the past.\u201d You might feel tempted to mend ways and make the relationship work. But remember, going back to a narcissist in such situations can be a huge mistake.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_False_hopes_of_closure\"\/>3. False hopes of closure<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>When you are too strong for a narcissist, sometimes, in a desperate attempt to get back control, they might pretend to offer you closure or a resolution. Dhriti explains, \u201cThey might ask to meet you somewhere or talk on call for closure, and then when the time comes, they might stand you up. When you call them back, they\u2019ll deny ever making such plans and call you crazy. This is a form of <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/narcissist-gaslighting-examples\/\">narcissist gaslighting<\/a>. A narcissist enjoys giving their partner false hope and loves to make them feel sad.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bit.ly\/3azucxN\"><picture><source data-lazy-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-800x448.jpg.webp 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-300x168.jpg.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-768x430.jpg.webp 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism.jpg.webp 1250w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" alt=\"More on narcissim\" class=\"wp-image-498468 webpexpress-processed\" style=\"object-fit:cover;width:1250px;height:700px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-800x448.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-768x430.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism.jpg 1250w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-800x448.jpg\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-800x448.jpg\" alt=\"More on narcissim\" class=\"wp-image-498468 webpexpress-processed\" style=\"object-fit:cover;width:1250px;height:700px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-800x448.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism-768x430.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/on-narcissism.jpg 1250w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\"\/><\/noscript><\/source><\/picture><\/a><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Isolating_you\"\/>4. Isolating you<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>A prominent answer to \u201cHow does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care or when she discovers you\u2019ve figured out her game?\u201d, is that he might try and isolate you. When a narcissist\u2019s fragile ego is wounded, they will try every <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bonobology.com\/manipulation-in-relationships\/\">manipulation tactic in a relationship<\/a>, even to the extent of separating you from friends and family.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Dhriti adds, \u201cA narcissist may call up your mutual friends and go around talking badly about you. They might start a whole smear campaign against you to try and turn your friends against you. They wish to create a situation wherein you have no one else but your narcissistic partner to turn to for emotional support.\u201d So, what to do when a narcissist tries to control you this way? Well, don\u2019t fall into the trap. Stay in touch with loved ones.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/how-not-to-fall-for-a-narcissist\/\">How Not To Fall For A Narcissist And Suffer In Silence<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Intermittent_reinforcement\"\/>5. Intermittent reinforcement<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>When you beat a narcissist at their own game, they might exploit that faint hope you may have somewhere in one corner of your mind. This is one tactic that makes <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/i-decided-to-leave-abusive-relationship-with-no-money\/\">leaving an abusive relationship<\/a> extremely difficult for the victim. A term coined by psychologist B. F. Skinner, \u2018intermittent reinforcement\u2019 defines a situation wherein a person feels they have more to gain because they have been rewarded inconsistently. It\u2019s like losing all your money at the casino because the one time you won made you squander away your savings later, as you hoped to win again.<\/p>\n<p>Dhriti says, \u201cIntermittent reinforcement is essentially delivering a \u2018reward\u2019 at irregular times, so the person never knows when to anticipate a reward and continues the behavior. In such cases, a narcissist might suddenly acknowledge something you\u2019ve been complaining about for a very long time and make promises to change.\u201d\u00a0This stage is where you should know how to take control away from a narcissist, by not giving in.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Narcissistic_injury\"\/>6. Narcissistic injury<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Also known as narcissistic wound, narcissistic injury refers to the excessive sense of humiliation that a narcissist feels when they lose control over their victims or they feel they have been insulted.\u00a0Dhriti adds, \u201cIt\u2019s when their self-perception of being perfect is hurt because they realize that someone could leave them so easily. If you are <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/dating-narcissist-signs-how-it-changes-you\/\">dating a narcissist <\/a>you would know this often makes them lash out and act in a vengeful manner.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/how-to-deal-with-an-angry-person-in-relationship\/\">Your Guide On How To Deal With An Angry Person In A Relationship<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_Narcissistic_rage\"\/>7. Narcissistic rage<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Close on the heels of narcissistic injury is narcissistic rage. When a narcissist doesn\u2019t get their way, they start throwing tantrums. At times, they may even react violently and try to get back at their victims for ignoring them or leaving them. Dhriti adds, \u201cTheir thought process is, \u201cHow dare you hurt me? I will hurt you more.\u201d It can also manifest in the form of physical, mental, and <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/emotional-abuse-checklist-18-devastating-signs\/\">emotional abuse.<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_Leaving_before_you_leave_them\"\/>8. Leaving before you leave them<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>Another answer to \u201cHow does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care or she finds out you\u2019re trying to leave them?,\u201d is that they might leave you before you leave them. A narcissist will try and win you back as long as you feed their ego or respond to their efforts to get you back into the abusive relationship. The moment a narcissist gets the hint that <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/leaving-the-one-i-love-for-good\/\">you might leave them for good<\/a>, they will be the first ones to break up. This satiates their ego. But what to do when a narcissist tries to control you is entirely up to you. Decide whether you wish to wait and watch or leave them right away.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9_Ugly_revelations\"\/>9. Ugly revelations<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>While a <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/breaking-up-with-narcissist\/\">narcissist is breaking up with you<\/a>, they will try and give you a final blow. In the breakup conversation, they will try and cause you more pain in an effort to destroy your emotional well-being and self-esteem. That\u2019s why it becomes important to know how to take control away from a narcissist by not reacting.<\/p>\n<p>Dhriti says, \u201cIf the narcissist did something nasty during the relationship which they hid from you, they\u2019ll reveal that to you now. For instance, someone I know was breaking up with her boyfriend and he chose that exact moment, in the middle of her sentence, to tell her he had cheated on her. He wanted the power to hurt her more than she was hurting him.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/how-to-deal-with-narcissist-spouse\/\">9 Expert Tips On How To Deal With A Narcissist Spouse<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10_Accusations\"\/>10.\u00a0Accusations<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>When the narcissist realizes you are done, the final breakup conversation with them may also end up in them <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/psychological-effects-of-false-accusations-in-a-relationship\/\">falsely accusing you<\/a> of things you may not have done. Dhriti adds, \u201cThey may double down on their partner and start pointing out their flaws and attacking their self-esteem.\u201d In this way, they can:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Divert attention from their own flaws<\/li>\n<li>Put the victim in a defensive mode<\/li>\n<li>Make excuses to hide their own wrongdoings<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><picture><source data-lazy-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-500x800.jpg.webp 500w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-188x300.jpg.webp 188w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-768x1229.jpg.webp 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-960x1536.jpg.webp 960w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you.jpg.webp 1250w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Infographic on how a narcissist reacts when they can't control you\" class=\"wp-image-501052 webpexpress-processed\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-500x800.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-188x300.jpg 188w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-768x1229.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-960x1536.jpg 960w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you.jpg 1250w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-500x800.jpg\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-500x800.jpg\" alt=\"Infographic on how a narcissist reacts when they can't control you\" class=\"wp-image-501052 webpexpress-processed\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-500x800.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-188x300.jpg 188w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-768x1229.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you-960x1536.jpg 960w, https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-lose-you.jpg 1250w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\"\/><\/noscript><\/source><\/picture><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">This is how a narcissist reacts when they can\u2019t control you<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"11_No_closure\"\/>11.\u00a0No closure<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p>When a <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/signs-a-narcissist-is-done-with-you\/\">narcissist is finished with you<\/a> and realizes they can\u2019t extract any emotion out of you, they will end all contact abruptly. Such people don\u2019t have any concern for their partner\u2019s feelings. Remember, a narcissist will never stay friends after the breakup or give you a chance to get closure. Dhriti explains, \u201cOnce they realize they\u2019re not going to get any admiration, validation, or emotional reaction from you, they\u2019ll simply get rid of you.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Does_Taking_Power_Away_From_A_Narcissist_Make_Them_Discard_You\"\/>Does Taking Power Away From A Narcissist Make Them Discard You?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h2>\n<p>Now that you have the answer to: \u201cHow does a narcissist react when they can\u2019t control you?,\u201d let\u2019s find out if a narcissist leaves you for good when they realize they have lost control over the relationship. Dhriti says, \u201cA narcissist only wants to be around those who can <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/emotional-validation-meaning-importance-signs\/\">emotionally validate them<\/a> and not contest their self-perception of being perfect. If they don\u2019t have the power over you, they can very well discard you, because they don\u2019t see you as a person. They see you as a supply or some puppet who is only there to fulfill their needs.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong> <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/narcissist-silent-treatment\/\">The Narcissist Silent Treatment: What It Is And How To Respond<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>But in case you\u2019re wondering how to know if you\u2019re about to be discarded by a narcissist, remember, there are always those subtle hints that come before the final stage of the narcissistic discard. Here are some signs to watch out for if you\u2019re wondering if you\u2019re about to be discarded by a narcissist:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>No jealousy anymore<\/li>\n<li>They flirt around or get into a new relationship<\/li>\n<li>No love bombing<\/li>\n<li>No hoovering or an attempt to get you back<\/li>\n<li><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/indifference-in-relationships\/\">Indifference in the relationship<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Narcissism is a toxic personality disorder that gnaws at a relationship bit by bit and destroys its very core. We hope we\u2019ve been able to help you with a clear picture of what narcissistic control in a relationship looks like. We also hope you\u2019re no longer wondering, \u201cHow does a narcissist react when they can\u2019t control you?\u201d You see when a narcissist knows he is losing or she is being outsmarted, the relationship will be at the receiving end of all their frustration and rage.<\/p>\n<div class=\"key-pointer\">\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Key_Pointers\"\/>Key Pointers<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Narcissists are self-absorbed people with no empathy or concern for other people\u2019s feelings and love controlling their partners<\/li>\n<li>A Narcissist can employ several tactics to control you, such as gaslighting, playing the victim card, love bombing, and lying<\/li>\n<li>Some of the glaring reactions of a narcissist when they start losing control over you are baiting, false hopes of closure, narcissistic rage, ugly revelations, and accusations<\/li>\n<li>Taking power away from a narcissist will eventually lead them to discard you and cut off all ties. So, staying friends with a narcissistic partner isn\u2019t an option<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>Remember, even when you are too strong for a narcissist, breaking away from them may not always be easy. Moreover, emotions may be involved, especially if you\u2019re in a <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/how-to-end-a-long-term-relationship\/\">long-term romantic relationship<\/a>. So, you will feel hurt. But when the narcissist realizes you are done, you can be victimized furthermore, till they suck every ounce of energy out of you.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>So, what\u2019s more important is to realize your worth and make a clean break with a narcissist before their abuse damages you irreparably. It\u2019s important to note that there\u2019s no \u2018we\u2019 without \u2018I\u2019, and if the narcissistic control is getting too much for you, there\u2019s no alternative to go separate ways to safeguard your mental health. There\u2019s no point in dragging things that may never work. This is the golden rule of a relationship. So, let self-love take over and focus on your healing process. Believe in yourself and take the plunge.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/arguing-with-narcissistic-husband\/\">9 Things To Be Mindful Of When Arguing With A Narcissistic Husband<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/get-out-controlling-relationship\/\">How To Get Out Of A Controlling Relationship \u2013 8 Ways To Break Free<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/exposing-a-narcissist-what-you-should-know\/\">Exposing A Narcissist \u2013 What You Should Know<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"border: 2px solid black; border-radius: 15px; text-align: center; padding: 15px; margin: 10px 0;\">\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Ask_Our_Expert\"\/>Ask Our Expert<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"\/><\/h3>\n<p class=\"must-log-in\">You must be Logged in to ask a question.<\/p>\n<p><button onclick=\"location.href=\" https:=\"\" style=\"color: white; background-color: #ff3778; border: none; padding: 10px 15px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer;\">Login\/Register<\/button><\/div>\n<p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[ad_2]<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bonobology.com\/how-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-cant-control-you\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[ad_1] While talking about narcissism in his bestselling book The Art of Loving, psychoanalyst Erich Fromm said, \u201cThe main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one\u2019s narcissism.\u201d And he was right. Narcissism can, in many cases prevent a healthy relationship from blossoming, because nothing or nobody is more important to narcissists [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6741,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.5 (Yoast SEO v27.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How Does A Narcissist React When They Can\u2019t Control You? - Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Perth - Perthescortsdirectory.com.au<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/perthescortsdirectory.com.au\/blog\/how-does-a-narcissist-react-when-they-cant-control-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Does A Narcissist React When They Can\u2019t Control You? - Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Perth - Perthescortsdirectory.com.au\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[ad_1] While talking about narcissism in his bestselling book The Art of Loving, psychoanalyst Erich Fromm said, \u201cThe main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one\u2019s narcissism.\u201d And he was right. 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