It was American author, counselor, and talk show host Gary Chapman who first introduced the concept of the 5 love languages in his 1992 book The Five Love Languages. A lot of articles, podcasts, and talk shows have addressed this concept since then, and the amount of curiosity it has generated is simply fascinating!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n However, in the modern age of transient love, people are increasingly talking about a 6th love language: feeling known! So, what exactly is this new sixth language and how have people reacted to its revelation? Another burning question is, what was the need for a 6th language of love if Chapman had already specified that there were only five? Why the need for anything else, if one can have a smooth relationship only by matching one of those five ways of showing love that appealed to their partner the most?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A February 2023 The Guardian<\/a> article states that Chapman\u2019s concept has never been inconclusively proven. In fact, it is largely believed that people who match their partners\u2019 love languages are no happier than those who don\u2019t, contrary to what Chapman stated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Moreover, only a couple of studies<\/a> have stated that knowing or having a clear understanding of one\u2019s partner\u2019s love language or way of showing love can bring relationship satisfaction in the long run. So, it seems instead of compartmentalizing love languages or believing in text-book definitions of \u2018love languages\u2019, one should focus on knowing their partner better. So, does it all boil down to making your partner feeling known? Is this why the sixth language of love came into being? Through this article, we\u2019ll help you decipher what it means, whether it exists, and how it affects our connections.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n To find out if there\u2019s a new valid love language at all, we must first take a look at the 5 love languages<\/a> mentioned in Gary Chapman\u2019s book.<\/p>\n So, Chapman\u2019s five languages of love are:<\/p>\n Related Reading:<\/strong> What Is Your Love Language Quiz<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n These are nothing but ways of making someone feel loved, and each individual apparently has a different language of showing their adoration or even receiving love.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n While Chapman stated people need to understand their significant others\u2019 love languages to make their relationships smoother, of late, there has been talk about a legitimate new love language too.<\/p>\n A 2023 The Guardian article<\/a> tells us how a TikTok user named Yuna believes in a 6th love language: \u201cfeeling known by a partner.\u201d Yuna, who has a popular TikTok account, @wethelees<\/a>, with her spouse, Nathan, spoke about how she once overheard him telling an acquaintance that Yuna suffers from anxiety when she watches shows like Stranger Things<\/em>. Yuna claims she had never spoken about this to Nathan. So, he knew her exactly the way she is, without her having to tell him anything at all! This, my friends, is the sixth love language that is making people think.<\/p>\n Related Reading: <\/strong>Gift Giving Love Language: What It Means And How To Show It<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n However, it seems there are many variations to this new language of showing affection that have been explored globally, apart from feeling known. People are largely divided when it comes to identifying a new 6th love language. While a Reddit user<\/a> said this new love language is definitely a significant other\u2019s urge to learn the culture, ways, and traditions of their partner, MeetVirginia1312, another Reddit user<\/a>, commented that it\u2019s all about \u201cfeeding people\u201d or \u201ccooking\u201d. Relationship and transformational coach Dr. Jessica Higgins<\/a>, however, believes it lies in giving one\u2019s loved one enough \u201cspace\u201d.<\/p>\n Chapman himself, according to a 2022 New York Times<\/a> article, believes \u201cthe sixth love language does not exist\u201d. However, discussions, both online and offline, have suggested that people all over the world believe the sixth love language, feeling known, exists and is a combination of several factors, such as distance, valuing a loved one\u2019s origins, and validation on social media. After all, only if someone knows you well will they know that you love Chinese food and not Mexican, that you hate socializing, or that you love posing for that mushy Instagram picture!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So, now that we know that the 6th language of love, feeling known, is a valid concept, let\u2019s explore this in detail. Feeling known could mean different things to different people. But what it inherently means is the feeling of being accepted for who you are. If your partner gets you and is comfortable with where you are in life, congratulations! You\u2019re with someone who knows you! If you feel that you share a deep bond with someone that goes beyond minor differences, you\u2019ve already accepted your partner for who they are. And acceptance in love<\/a> can go a long way in strengthening your bond. So, your husband isn\u2019t a hustler. He would rather earn less than their peers than be buried in work 24\/7? And you\u2019ve accepted him for who he is! Trust me, he is \u2018feeling known\u2019. Likewise, you hate cooking, unlike most of your friends, who believe the way to a man\u2019s heart is through his stomach. And your husband respects you for your choice. That makes you \u2018feel known\u2019.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n You appreciate their efforts if you see them working hard to make you happy. You don\u2019t force them to look a certain way or adopt a certain lifestyle to please you and vice versa! That\u2019s how you\u2019re making them feel known.<\/p>\n Related Reading: <\/strong>10 Ways To Shower Appreciation On Your Husband<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n So, your girlfriend likes pineapple pizza? Or has she never watched Game of Thrones? Would you rather read on weekends than go out partying? And you still love each other for being genuine, instead of tearing each other apart for being \u2018different\u2019 or for not following the norm. Well, you\u2019re truly making each other \u2018feel known\u2019.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Would your significant other rather sit by the sea, watching the waves, than make an Instagram travel reel? Do they believe in feminism? Are they bisexual<\/a>? And they feel at peace sharing this with you, knowing that you\u2019re their safe space to speak out and confide in? Wow! You truly \u2018know\u2019 your partner! Likewise, if your partner offers a safe space for you to confide in without being judged, you \u2018feel known\u2019 too.<\/p>\n Related Reading: <\/strong>What Does \u2018Holding Space For Someone\u2019 Mean And How To Do It?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Your boyfriend posts a poem on Facebook, sharing his emotions, but knowing he will get far less likes than his peers! And yet, you share it on your profile, making him feel loved, heard, and seen! Congrats! You\u2019re making him \u2018feel known\u2019. <\/p>\n So, how does this 6th language of love work in modern relationships<\/a> and dating? And how can you improve your life with this language of expressing love? Of course, you can\u2019t be a mind reader! So, here are some tips to make them feel known:<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve just started dating someone, and want to make sure you know them thoroughly, notice them minutely. Do they like tea or coffee? Do they believe in work\u2013life balance<\/a>? Make a mental note of all that you see. This not only helps you know your date better but also makes you well-prepared to understand why something you say or do may be putting them off.<\/p>\n Related Reading: <\/strong>How Do You Give Someone Attention In A Relationship?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n Understanding why they are the way they are is important. For example, if they are scared of traveling at night, they must\u2019ve faced some untoward personal incident while doing so in the past. Blaming and shaming them for their peculiar behavior will only create rifts between you two. So, understanding where they\u2019re coming from and why they\u2019re behaving in a certain manner may help you reduce unnecessary friction in the long run.<\/p>\n Try to understand why communication is important in a relationship<\/a>. Talk, ask questions, and listen to them. Tell them you value their thoughts and that you\u2019re trying your best to understand them. A heart-to-heart talk doesn\u2019t just help you \u2018know\u2019 them better but also gives you cues for asking them about their life experiences. You can show your concern and tell them you care about them and relate to their thoughts. This will help you two connect on a deeper level.<\/p>\n Related Reading:<\/strong> 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n Yes, it\u2019s difficult to know someone\u2019s likes and dislikes, especially if you\u2019ve just started dating. So, be familiar with their schedule! Maintain lists and reminders. They told you about skipping work for their dog\u2019s illness a couple of days back? Ask them how their pet is! This way, they will know you value their choices, schedules, and priorities. This also helps them realize you aren\u2019t a selfish boyfriend<\/a> or girlfriend and that they matter.<\/p>\n Never judge them for opening up or sharing the truth. For example, if they say they have cheated in the past, don\u2019t make a judgmental remark such as \u201cOh! Scary! Old habits die hard!\u201d Be empathetic and open-minded. Hear them out, as the more you show them you\u2019re interested in \u2018knowing\u2019 them and their points of view, the closer you\u2019ll come to creating a strong bond. Remember, there\u2019s more to people than the glossy Instagram photos they post. Only if you know and acknowledge their entire being will you succeed in building a long-term relationship<\/a>.<\/p>\n So, now you know that a new language of love exists and it\u2019s not rocket science! It\u2019s something as simple as knowing your partner\/spouse well and not judging them. So, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and make the most of the six love languages!<\/p>\n There\u2019s been a heated debate on social media and elsewhere about the probable existence of a sixth love language, over and above the 5 love languages that Chapman enlisted. People have suggested everything from \u2018food\u2019 to \u2018giving space,\u2019 but it seems all such aspects can be collectively named what some experts have termed \u2018knowing you.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/div>\n There\u2019s no consensus on this. While some sources<\/a> claim acts including any service are the rarest form of love language, a study<\/a> in the US proved receiving presents was the least common love language. However, they have not taken into account all the six love languages.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n How To Use Words Of Affirmation As A Love Language?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Top 10 Gift Ideas For Each Of The 5 Love Languages<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Quality Time Love Language: Meaning, Ideas And Examples<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n <\/div>\nIs There A 6th Love Language?<\/h2>\n
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What Is The 6th Love Language?<\/h2>\n
For greater clarity, here are some examples of what the new 6th love language, feeling known, entails:<\/p>\n1. Accepting a partner for who they are<\/h3>\n
2. Appreciating a partner for being themselves<\/h3>\n
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3. Not criticizing a partner for their quirks<\/h3>\n
4. Offering a safe space<\/h3>\n
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5. Making the partner feel heard and seen<\/h3>\n
Likewise, he introduces you as \u201can inspiration\u201d behind his success to everyone at his book launch event. You feel heard and seen, and that\u2019s what \u2018feeling known\u2019 is all about.<\/p>\nFeeling Known \u2013 The 6th Love Language In Dating and Relationships<\/h2>\n
1. Notice them<\/h3>\n
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2. Understand them<\/h3>\n
3. Communicate<\/h3>\n
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4. Make notes and follow up<\/h3>\n
5. Don\u2019t judge, argue, or jump to conclusions<\/h3>\n
Key Pointers<\/h3>\n
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FAQs<\/h2>\n
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