There\u2019s little in life that causes as much emotional and psychological pain as dealing with an envy attack \u2013 from an envious person.<\/p>\n
With the exception of other obviously devastating things, such as losing someone dear to you, being riddled with disease or being homeless, dealing with an envy attack can really hurt and catch you off guard.<\/p>\n
And if you think that sounds melodramatic, consider the fact that the envious are often the people who you consider to be friends. Or they\u2019re the people who try to get closest to you, pretending<\/em> to be friends.<\/p>\n These are people who suck as much value out of you as possible, and then turn on you the moment they see you vulnerable, or their self esteem rises above rock bottom (usually only fleetingly of course).<\/p>\n The harm and destruction they can cause if you are unsuspecting, is significant.<\/p>\n Consider the case of poor Nancy Kerrigan, a competitive American figure skater who in 1994 was struck in the thigh<\/a> with a telescopic baton whilst leaving a practice arena in Michigan.<\/p>\n The attack was planned by two men \u2013 one of whom was the ex husband of her former friend and rival figure skater<\/strong>, Tonya Harding.<\/a><\/p>\n Yes, the rival Tonya absolutely had a hand in planning the attack.<\/p>\n The aim with this attack was to prevent Nancy Kerrigan from taking part in the up and coming Winter Olympics as well as the 1994 United States Figure Skating Championships.<\/p>\n They were successful in stopping her from competing at the 1994 Championships, but thankfully she recovered in time for the Winter Olympics.<\/p>\n Talk about an envy attack.<\/p>\n The answer to what causes people to envy you is three-fold.<\/p>\n First of all, there is the more obvious answer and that is that they have low self esteem.<\/p>\n But the truthful answer isn\u2019t that rudimentary.<\/p>\n Other causes<\/em> include:<\/p>\n Recommended reading: 7 Steps to Develop Character As A Feminine Woman.\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n A disparity in resources may happen to no fault of the person feeling envious. Life is inherently unfair, and it\u2019s not anyone\u2019s fault that one person is born into a poor country and another into a prosperous one.<\/p>\n Or that one is born ugly and another good looking.<\/p>\n Knowing this, we can conclude that every single one of us is vulnerable to envy in the right scenario.<\/p>\n However, that doesn\u2019t excuse envious behavior that causes harm to others.<\/p>\n In my article on the 12 secretive signs someone is envious of you<\/strong><\/a>, I specified that there are two types of envy: benign envy and malicious envy.<\/p>\n Those experiencing benign envy are much less likely to launch an envy attack on you, whilst those who feel malicious envy will stop at nothing to see you fail.<\/p>\n Not only fail<\/em>, but suffer greatly.<\/p>\n They\u2019ll smile when you lose (schadenfreude smile<\/a>), they\u2019ll rejoice when you suffer.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a couple of truths about most people:<\/p>\n Envy is a hidden<\/a> emotion after all. Most people who feel envious hide their envy first and foremost from others, but also (and most importantly) from themselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n People don\u2019t want to acknowledge that they\u2019re envious, in other words.<\/p>\n To admit it means to betray themselves. At least for the people who feel malicious envy.<\/p>\n Why bother admitting it when it means you feel even lower status, and then have to be humble instead of planning a well targeted attack on your target?<\/p>\n They wouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Well, personally I\u2019d argue that there\u2019s a good reason why one should acknowledge their envy, and that\u2019s because it helps you actually appreciate what you do<\/em> have in this life.<\/p>\n Envy can serve you so beautifully in your life, but my bias would have me believe that most people do not get to that place, because they\u2019re looking for short-term satisfaction.<\/p>\n See, it\u2019s much easier to tear down someone else\u2019s building<\/strong> than it is to build your own tower, right?<\/p>\n Most enviers are insanely entitled and don\u2019t have a habit of feeling gratitude.<\/p>\n And of course, gratitude is one big antidote to envy.<\/p>\n But honestly, this is too much to ask of most people. Most people don\u2019t care and would rather see you fail.<\/p>\n Harsh fact of life.<\/p>\n Recommended reading: How to Be A Woman of Mystery And Feminine Allure: 5 Steps.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!<\/span><\/b><\/a><\/p>\n Envy is a powerful emotion. That\u2019s the first thing you need to know.<\/p>\n The second thing you need to know is that it is so strong that it can be blind and irrational.<\/p>\n This makes people act out in terrible ways, then they might overcorrect their behavior after they begin to feel guilt or shame.\u00a0<\/p>\n That\u2019s if <\/em><\/strong>they even feel guilt or shame.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s what the emotion of envy does to people\u2019s behavior:<\/strong><\/p>\n Even if someone insists that they\u2019re not envious, or tries to act like your friend, their behavior just never comes out quite right<\/em>.<\/p>\n Some jealous and envious people are smarter than others. They will be more skilled at hiding their envy, but their behavior always betrays their emotions. Envy is all consuming like that!<\/p>\n So, how do you know someone is envious of you? Be on the lookout for the following 8 behaviors:<\/p>\n But you don\u2019t even have to have shared your own resources with them, actually.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n Such people will naturally want to keep any tiny piece of the proverbial pie to themselves regardless of whether you\u2019ve helped them or not.<\/p>\n In fact, if your friend is particularly prone to feeling jealous or envious, they will actually compartmentalize the people in their life.<\/p>\n This is actually a telltale sign of a controlling, narcissistic person as well \u2013 they don\u2019t want to share contacts, friends or resources. They want every last morsel of all the good things to belong only to them.<\/p>\n Even if<\/em><\/strong> you\u2019ve given an arm and a leg to help them in life.<\/p>\n Related reading: 17 Early Signs Of A Controlling Man (He Wishes You Never Knew).<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n It\u2019s easy to tell whether someone is envious of you through the way they behave.<\/p>\n I can suggest to you that someone who is envious of you may even be so blinded by their desire to have the status, success or beauty that they perceive<\/em><\/strong> you have, that they have no blippin\u2019 idea how obvious their envy is.<\/p>\n Related: How To Deal With Jealous Women & 7 Signs She\u2019s Jealous.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n But let me reveal these behavioural signs someone is feeling envious of you:<\/p>\n And research backs up<\/a> my fear, showing that envy is the most feared emotion.)<\/p>\n I\u2019m not talking about innocent copying, such as your friend coveting your red Chanel sunglasses and proceeding to buy the same pair for herself (and it\u2019s a once-off event).<\/p>\n I\u2019m talking about the people who copy almost all of your choices and preferences.<\/p>\n You take a trip to Maui, they take a trip to Maui.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n You wear a badge on your t-shirt, they\u2019ll wear a badge on their t-shirt.\u00a0<\/p>\n You start wearing high heels more, they start wearing high heels more.<\/p>\n You start a business selling activewear, they start a business selling activewear.<\/p>\n They\u2019re like a literal leech that you can\u2019t get rid of. Ew.<\/em> And envy is a dangerous<\/a> emotion for this reason, as some people quite literally murder the person they envy in order to take over their identity.<\/p>\n Take for example the Australian woman named Caroline Reed Barber who envied her dancer \u201cfriend\u201d and neighbour Rachel Barber<\/a> for years.\u00a0<\/p>\n Unbeknownst to others, she proceeded to plan and execute her friend\u2019s murder to try to take over her existence. Shudder<\/em>.<\/p>\n CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE <\/span><\/b>you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)<\/a><\/p>\n Jealousy is what you feel when you\u2019re scared that something you already have is going to be lost or taken away, perhaps by a rival.<\/p>\n Envy is what you feel when someone else is enjoying something that you do not have<\/em><\/strong> \u2013 but you feel entitled to.<\/p>\n In short, a jealous person wants to keep what they already have \u2013 usually somebody close to them. They don\u2019t want to lose someone or something they already have in their life.\u00a0<\/p>\n An envious person wants what they don\u2019t (or can\u2019t) have.<\/p>\n Envy and jealousy are from the same family of emotions, but they\u2019re very different.<\/p>\n Oftentimes what you\u2019re labelling as jealousy is not jealousy at all. It\u2019s envy.<\/p>\n Related reading: 12 Secret Reasons Some People Will Always Be Distant From You.\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n What causes a person to be jealous is the threat that something they\u2019ve already invested in will be taken away from them.<\/p>\n When you feel threatened that something could be taken from you \u2013 for example, love, attention or validation, you are feeling jealous.<\/p>\n Dealing with an envious hater in your personal or professional life is simple in theory, but sometimes harder to execute.<\/p>\n The first and main step is to completely cut them off.<\/p>\n Whether they\u2019re an instagram follower, a friend, a colleague or family member, the best thing to do is to delete them from your contacts \u2013 block them on social media, or cut them off.<\/p>\n The key here is to cut off their supply of resources (from you) if they\u2019re already a friend, or have been<\/strong> a friend.<\/p>\n Because if you don\u2019t, they\u2019ll keep coming back relentlessly for that piece of pie, and they will feel no shame or remorse about it.<\/p>\n Some envious people will push themselves into your life as long as you allow it.\u00a0<\/p>\n When you walk away and just let them live their own lives, you make it impossible for them to hurt or damage you.<\/p>\n And they can do a lot of damage.<\/p>\n When you let the envious human into your life for too long, their envy starts to make you a smaller person.<\/p>\n This is because you will always pick up on their actions and emotions, and feel the reciprocal emotion to that particular action or emotion.<\/p>\n Thus if someone feels envious of you, and you tolerate them being in your life sucking your resources (whilst never being a real friend to you), you will come to find yourself seething in resentment and anger.<\/p>\n You may not have had any negative feelings towards them to begin with.<\/p>\n After all, you\u2019re the one with the joy, the happiness and the privileges \u2013 not them.<\/p>\n You\u2019re not the one constantly having to fight the negative emotions that come with being close to someone you deeply envy \u2013 they<\/em> are.<\/p>\n Consequently, you can tolerate their snide remarks or lack of empathy and camaraderie towards you.<\/p>\n Until their little aggressive actions (or omissions) all come to a head when they do something unforgivable.<\/p>\n And it always happens.<\/p>\n Either they shamelessly treat you like you\u2019re nothing, or they embarrass you in front of others, or betray you on a level that\u2019s reprehensible.<\/p>\n And then, you have to process and relive all the little passive aggressive, hostile things they did to you along the way.<\/p>\n You may not have started <\/em>the friendship with resentment or poor mental health, but you\u2019ll walk away from this relationship more negative than you were before.\u00a0<\/p>\n This is because of what you\u2019ve had to endure at the hands of this person.<\/p>\n Because this person felt such low self esteem and self confidence around you, they\u2019ll act out.<\/p>\n Recommended: 5 Telltale Signs Your Man Has Crippling Low Self Esteem.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n They effectively drag you down with them eventually.<\/p>\n This is not to say that you\u2019ll also end up being a bad person who is envious. But you might become angry and riddled with self doubt because of how toxic and envious they were.<\/p>\n And that\u2019s the whole purpose of their envy!<\/p>\n To make you feel small. To make you feel less. To make you have<\/em> less.<\/p>\n Personally, it is the envious people I\u2019ve let into my life (because I selfishly wanted a friend) and was willing to share what I had with them, who cost me the most time, energy, and pain.<\/p>\n So don\u2019t be like I once was.<\/p>\n Eliminate the envious quickly.<\/p>\n Whether they\u2019re hateful followers on social media or an envious BFF, they need to go.<\/p>\n And cutting them off doesn\u2019t have to be permanent in every case. Because not every person who is envious is fundamentally a bad person.<\/p>\n (Though a lot of them are.)<\/p>\n Some envious, toxic people will realize the error of their ways \u2013 but don\u2019t count on it.<\/p>\n So you should eliminate them. And don\u2019t feel bad about it. Because their envy was never your problem in the first place.<\/p>\n So:<\/p>\n Wrap up their envy into a hypothetical plastic bag, and throw it far, far away. Somewhere you can never even catch a whiff of its toxicity again.<\/p>\n QUIZ TIME: Anxious, avoidant or secure attachment patterns? Which one do I have? <\/span><\/b>CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz! (Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it\u2019s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)<\/a><\/p>\n So let\u2019s get to the main part of the article. Sorry for the thesis. Anyway, let\u2019s help you deal with these people and preserve your well being.<\/p>\n Acknowledge that they feel envy towards you.<\/p>\n Sometimes it\u2019s really hard to accept that you have an envious or jealous friend. You want things to be different.<\/p>\n They were supposed to be your friend. Technically, anyway.<\/p>\n But if they\u2019re always envious of you and unwilling to rise above that to treat you lovingly and respectfully, they never were your friend.<\/p>\n Have an honest conversation with yourself. Ask yourself whether you\u2019ve truly felt friendship vibes from this person.<\/p>\n They might have had a laugh with you or a drink with you, but have they ever been a friend? Have you ever fully trusted them?<\/p>\n MORE: Can\u2019t Trust Anyone? 6 Hidden Signs They\u2019re Untrustworthy.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Have they ever fully supported you? Or was there always something missing?<\/p>\n It can be even harder to acknowledge the truth of what it is if it\u2019s a family member who is threatened by you. Especially if you grew up with them.<\/p>\n And it\u2019s ok for envious family members to feel that envy once in a while, it might be benign envy after all. That\u2019s ok.<\/p>\n But if you cannot even have a working relationship with them because they\u2019re constantly consumed by their own insecurities, you have to acknowledge what\u2019s right in front of you.<\/p>\n This is the reality of human nature and it\u2019s ok to accept that.<\/p>\n There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report. <\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n In theory, you could bring your envy-ridden friends up by encouraging them and helping to build their self esteem.<\/p>\n But they\u2019re envious!<\/p>\n The cold, dark truth here is that most of the time, if you try to share your resources with them or bring them up in life, they\u2019ll resent you even more for it.<\/p>\n Remember:<\/p>\n The envious aren\u2019t grateful. They don\u2019t care for gratitude.<\/p>\n So if you offer your help, you\u2019ll only make things worse \u2013 much worse. For yourself and those you love.<\/p>\n There is an exception here:<\/p>\n If this person is your blood relative and you have a long, loyal history with them, perhaps you can bring them up.<\/p>\n Perhaps you can show them and remind them of their own achievements so that they feel more resourceful.<\/p>\n But only if they\u2019ve earned your trust (truly) in the past. And only if they\u2019re your blood relatives.<\/p>\n Recommended reading: Is It Smart For Women To Look For A Rich Man?<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n As far as I\u2019ve learned, friends who are envious aren\u2019t worth the effort. (Good friends are worth the effort, but envious friends are not.)<\/p>\n Sure, family members often aren\u2019t worth the effort either.<\/p>\n But you have to be sure they really<\/em> aren\u2019t worth it. Most of us would be much more willing to risk our lives for a close blood relative than we ever would for a \u201cfriend\u201d.<\/p>\n CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger <\/span><\/b>within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.<\/a><\/p>\n Similar to step 2 (but different), is \u2013 let them earn their place in life.<\/p>\n Let him or her live their own life. Leave them to learn the lessons they need to learn and let them spend time connecting with people who they truly resonate with.<\/p>\n (Perhaps other toxic people. Lol.)<\/p>\n They will be just fine without you and if they really want the success badly enough, they will find the answers the organic way.<\/p>\n Or they\u2019ll cosy up to some other sucker to get to the top. Be glad it isn\u2019t you.<\/p>\n SPECIAL REPORT: How to Become the World\u2019s Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention\u2026) CLICK HERE to download it at no cost.<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Envious and jealous people can ruin relationships. If you are at a point where you\u2019ve already been burned by them, be patient with yourself, as processing all the hurt and pain will take a while.<\/p>\n You may wake up at night thinking about that horrible thing they did to you. You may not be able to stop thinking about their audacity. Their toxicity.<\/p>\n Whatever it is, it\u2019s normal to be consumed by their toxic actions in the first few weeks and months after you break off the relationship with them.<\/p>\n Try not to rush yourself or deny that they affected you \u2013 that will be counterproductive.<\/p>\n If you want to recover from this and move forward in a positive way, then you need to allow room to be angry at them and to feel hurt by them.<\/p>\n You valued the friendship after all. And they didn\u2019t. That hurts.\u00a0<\/p>\n Well actually, it\u2019s infuriating.<\/p>\n So allow yourself to process it so that you\u2019re not still burdened by their betrayal 20 years from now.<\/p>\n QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!<\/span><\/b> (All the answers you seek about him lie within these 8 questions.)<\/a><\/p>\n Remember when I said that the antidote to envy is gratitude?<\/p>\n Well, even if you don\u2019t find yourself falling prey to the emotion of envy often, try to focus on what you are grateful for at least once a day.<\/p>\n Preferably in the morning.<\/p>\n Remember, you have something that other people really want for themselves.\u00a0<\/p>\n The more you can appreciate it and be grateful for it, the more value you can add to yourself, and the higher the quality of your own life.<\/p>\n The irony here is that if you get stuck in a tussle with another person\u2019s envy, if you get overly competitive with them, or if you get emotionally hooked by the behavior of that jealous person, you may end up envying them yourself.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n Because you\u2019re hooked on the struggle for resources. Because you allowed yourself to enter the competition they<\/em> created.<\/p>\n Remember, you are already above or ahead of them in some way. Otherwise they wouldn\u2019t have envied you to begin with.<\/p>\n Be grateful for where you are and what you have. Feel the freedom in that. Feel the joy in that. Smile about it.<\/p>\n Chances are, you\u2019ve worked very hard for any great advantage you have in life. Unless you\u2019re a trust fund baby. Haha.<\/p>\n So you have every right to enjoy.<\/p>\n SECRETS REVEALED\u2026 Discover how you too can use this little known \u201cDark Feminine Art\u201d to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. (CLICK HERE to enrol in this free class before it\u2019s gone.)<\/span><\/b><\/a><\/p>\n As I highlighted earlier, jealousy is a different emotion to envy.<\/p>\n That being so, you have to deal with jealous people a little differently. It\u2019s actually more beneficial to deal with jealous people by being generous than it is when dealing with those who feel envious.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n Because by being reassuring and respectful (generous), you can often alleviate a jealous person\u2019s fear that you may take away what they value.<\/p>\n You can make them believe that their valued person or resource will not disappear, at least not at your hands.<\/p>\n So let\u2019s look at how to deal with jealous people.<\/p>\n Recommended: 3 Harsh Reasons Why You Haven\u2019t Found The Right Man Yet.\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n I know this can be hard for women especially, because women today tend to have a tendency towards entitlement \u2013 at least in the context of romantic relationships and getting commitment from men.<\/p>\n So even if another woman is simply jealous because her boyfriend or husband is giving you attention, you may subconsciously feel entitled to that attention when you shouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the reality:<\/p>\n If someone already belongs to someone else (ie: they are already their best friend, sibling, lover, or husband for example), then you need to respect that.<\/p>\n But let\u2019s say the coin were to be flipped. Let\u2019s say someone is jealous of you because they want a piece of someone who already belongs to you.<\/em><\/p>\n This brings us to the topic of control.<\/p>\n You can\u2019t really ask <\/em>someone else to be respectful of what was\/is yours.<\/p>\n I mean you can, but you can\u2019t control them. Plus, remember, people are generally a disappointment.<\/p>\n But what you can<\/em> do is just quietly add value to what or who already belongs to you, instead of trying harder to control them.<\/p>\n It\u2019s tempting to try to control things more when dealing with an intrusive, jealous person. But resist the urge, because controlling others is not your job.<\/p>\n Your job is to be you and add value any way you can.<\/p>\n Related: 6 Traits Of A High Value Woman (& 3 Habits You Must Avoid!)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n![\"how](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/envy-1024x737.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nWhat Causes People To Envy You?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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How Do You Know Someone Is Envious Of You?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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Sometimes it\u2019s in the little remarks that they make in response to your complaint about something or someone. For example, if you\u2019ve been hurt by someone, somehow they\u2019ll find the good in that person\u2019s behavior (detracting from your right to feel hurt or upset).<\/li>\n
But it\u2019s not real appreciation, because the truth is that they either want to get very close to you in order to slime off your goodness, or they\u2019re just complimenting you because they want all your insights and ideas in life. (Since they know you\u2019ve got something good.)<\/li>\n
<\/strong>It simply hurts them too much. Why should they <\/em>admit you did something good? Why should they<\/em> admit that you have talent? Why should they<\/em> admit that you helped them \u2013 greatly \u2013 with something they wanted to succeed at?
Doing so would mean they have to admit the truth: that they are falling short in their skills.<\/li>\n
<\/strong>Ah, the irony of this nonsense. After asking you to help them succeed, they proceed to feel threatened by the concept of sharing their own resources with you.\n![\"how](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/envy3-1024x971.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nHow Does An Envious Person Behave?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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(MORE: Why Do I Push People Away? & 7 Signs You Push People Away.<\/strong><\/a>)<\/strong><\/li>\n
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<\/em>These are the people who seem to want to completely take over your identity.<\/p>\n![\"how](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/envy1-1-1024x981.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nWhat\u2019s the Difference Between Envy VS Jealousy?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/blog-to-group.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\nWhat Causes A Person to be Jealous?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
How Do You Deal With Envious Haters?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
How To Deal With Envious Humans: 5 High Value Ways<\/strong><\/h2>\n
#1: Acknowledge What Is.<\/strong><\/h2>\n
#2: Don\u2019t Try To Help Or Share Your Resources With Them<\/strong><\/h2>\n
![\"how](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/envy2-1024x743.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n#3: Let Them Earn Their Place In Life<\/strong><\/h2>\n
#4: Grieve And Process Any Bad Treatment<\/strong><\/h2>\n
#5: Remind Yourself to Be Grateful<\/strong><\/h2>\n
How To Deal With Jealous People?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/17AT-cta-blog.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n#1: Be Respectful Of What Was\/Is Theirs<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#2: Don\u2019t Try To Control Anybody<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/KristinCake.jpg.webp\")
<\/a>