There are many annoying and sometimes narcissistic behaviors to watch out for in modern dating, and one of them is breadcrumbing.<\/p>\n
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you attention and validation inconsistently and in small amounts.<\/strong><\/p>\n They never give you enough to make you feel like they\u2019re in a committed relationship with you, but just enough<\/em><\/strong> to make you wonder whether there\u2019s the possibility of a relationship in the future.<\/p>\n (On the other hand, you may already know <\/em>there\u2019s no future deep down in your gut,<\/strong> but you get stuck in the cycle of responding to their crumbs because you\u2019re hooked.)<\/p>\n Now:<\/p>\n The key to remember here is that anyone can engage in breadcrumbing behavior.<\/p>\n There are narcissistic, abusive people who breadcrumb, and there are \u201cnormal\u201d people<\/strong> who breadcrumb.<\/p>\n Obviously, the breadcrumbing that abusive people do would feel even more traumatic than the breadcrumbing you\u2019d experience from someone who is simply indecisive about their love life.<\/p>\n QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n At the heart of it, breadcrumbing in dating is when someone keeps you around for their own ends.<\/p>\n They care about the sex, power and attention you can give them, though.<\/p>\n And so they will not want to fully let you go. It\u2019s frustrating.<\/p>\n They\u2019ll keep you in the background, giving you crumbs here and there that make you feel like there may be hope for a future together.<\/p>\n Take a look at this situation a member of ours was in. It showcases some typical red flags of breadcrumbing in dating:<\/p>\n And some of the responses she got below confirm the breadcrumbing:<\/p>\n If you are dealing with breadcrumbing in dating and you consider yourself to be a \u201cnice\u201d girl, I recommend you let go of that identity for now, to deal with the breadcrumber effectively.<\/p>\n To deal with breadcrumbers, you can\u2019t be too weak.\u00a0<\/p>\n Here are two words you can say that will allow you to get your point across to a guy <\/strong><\/a>whilst also keeping your high value.<\/em><\/p>\n Breadcrumbing in a relationship is different in that the breadcrumber is officially in a relationship with you (due to marriage or due to just to labels you\u2019ve collectively put on the relationship).<\/p>\n MORE: TOP 3 Red Flags In Men to Never Ignore.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Breadcrumbing in a relationship usually occurs when:<\/p>\n MORE: 24 Revealing Signs He Has No Feelings For You.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Breadcrumbing in a relationship is quite abusive and it\u2019s worse for you in the sense that you\u2019ve likely had a longer history with the breadcrumber.<\/p>\n You really have to work hard to break that type of tie.<\/p>\n People breadcrumb for different reasons. Remember at the start of this article I mentioned that there are abusive people who breadcrumb, and then there are non<\/em> abusive people who breadcrumb.<\/p>\n So the reasons for breadcrumbing behavior largely depend on the personality of the breadcrumber, and the motivations<\/em><\/strong> of the person doing it.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s have a look at some possible answers to the question: why do people breadcrumb?<\/p>\n Again:<\/p>\n There are sinister reasons why people breadcrumb, and then there are more \u201cinnocent\u201d reasons \u2013 which usually pertain to their internal uncertainty and their inability to see their own actions objectively.<\/p>\n Some definitely do. And the ones who do <\/em>know usually don\u2019t care, and don\u2019t mind. They\u2019re just there to get what they want.<\/p>\n Other breadcrumbers have absolutely no idea what they are doing \u2013 to you or to themselves.<\/p>\n They don\u2019t realize that due to their selfish ways, they are:<\/p>\n Breadcrumbing behavior manifests in several different ways. But here are some examples:<\/p>\n MORE: 6 Burning Signs He Doesn\u2019t Want A Relationship With You.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Now I\u2019m going to briefly talk about the more sinister motivations for breadcrumbing, the type used by toxic,<\/strong><\/a> narcissistic abusers, called intermittent reinforcement.<\/p>\n When a narcissist breadcrumbs you, it\u2019s toxic and manipulative and it often creates what is called a trauma bond.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n This type of abusive behavior is still called breadcrumbing, but it\u2019s also called intermittent reinforcement.<\/strong><\/a> <\/strong>Intermittent reinforcement is a term that originated from B.F. Skinner\u2019s<\/a> theories on operant conditioning.<\/p>\n When thinking about what intermittent reinforcement is, we need to look at each of the words separately to gain a good understanding.<\/p>\n Intermittent means sporadic or irregular, and reinforcement means the action or process of strengthening something.<\/p>\n What this means is that a breadcrumber will partake in intermittent reinforcement by:<\/p>\n By the time they\u2019re done taking from you, you\u2019re already worn down, so much that the crumbs of love or the \u201creinforcement\u201d they give you feel like nirvana.<\/p>\n Their behavior will turn you into an emotional rollercoaster.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s an example of this painful situation from our group:<\/p>\n Someone engaging in intermittent reinforcement\/breadcrumbing might:<\/p>\n There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report. <\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n If you want to find out for sure how serious he is about you, I recommend you take my free quiz to find out:<\/strong> VIDEO: Is he Serious or Just \u201cInterested\u201d? Critical Distinction.<\/strong><\/p>\n \n![\"breadcrumbing\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/crumbs-1024x683.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nWhat Is Breadcrumbing in Dating?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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What Is Breadcrumbing In A Relationship?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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Why Do People Breadcrumb?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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<\/a><\/figure>\nDo Breadcrumbers Know They Are Breadcrumbing?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/AlisonCake.jpg\")
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\n\u2026To finally learning the skill of weeding out the wrong types of men, and passing the hardest test of them all\u2026 an accidental pregnancy after a month of dating! (\u2026All by learning one simple skill.)<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\nBreadcrumbing Examples<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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![\"how](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/wmpa-cta-blog.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\nIs Breadcrumbing The Same As Intermittent Reinforcement?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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8 Sad Signs of Breadcrumbing<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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This leaves you also hanging onto a doomed relationship.
Breadcrumbing may also lead you to question whether you\u2019re being too harsh on the breadcrumber. Especially when they were once so helpful (lovebombing anyone?) and can really be \u201cso loving\u201d and \u201cattentive\u201d \u2013 when they are.<\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n
This is how people get addicted to gambling. If they knew they\u2019d always win the same amount of money, gambling wouldn\u2019t be addictive, because it\u2019s too predictable. But when they only win sometimes \u2013 and occasionally even win big \u2013 they\u2019ll take the risks associated with gambling.<\/li>\n
<\/strong> <\/strong>QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n