So you\u2019ve just gone through a breakup and your ex boyfriend or husband wants to remain friends.<\/p>\n
This can be confusing\u2026but I\u2019ve seen and heard of this time and time again in my 14 years of coaching women, and I can tell you one thing:<\/p>\n
A lot of guys actually do<\/em> want to stay friends with their ex after a breakup.<\/p>\n Sometimes their motivations are innocent\u2026for example, he just wants to make sure you\u2019re going to be ok.<\/p>\n Other times, a guy\u2019s motivations for being friends after a breakup are alarming.<\/p>\n It all depends on the kind of ex you have, and the type of history you have together.<\/p>\n But I think it\u2019s important for you to note that for both men and <\/em>women, motivations for staying friends post relationship usually relate to love, money, status, and sex, as shown by one study.<\/a><\/p>\n According to Psychology Today, one study<\/a> showed that men are more likely than women to want to be friends after a breakup.<\/p>\n This isn\u2019t surprising when you consider a couple of factors that make post-breakup friendship beneficial for men:<\/strong><\/p>\n I would argue that both men and women have motivations for keeping a friendship with an ex, men just have reasons skewed more towards sex and pragmatism than women do.<\/p>\n But let\u2019s get really specific about the reasons he might be wanting to keep a friendship with you after breaking up.<\/p>\n The key here is you want to work out whether his desire to remain friends is self motivated (pure selfishness), or whether there is some consideration towards how you <\/em>feel.<\/p>\n Would you like to learn ONE specific emotional trigger in every masculine man on earth that makes him want to take care of you \u2013 for life?\u00a0<\/p>\n CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Staying friends after a breakup can be beneficial for a man, as having more women around him benefits him.<\/p>\n It\u2019s like \u201csocial proof\u201d of his value, if he still has at least one woman (you) in his life.<\/p>\n A guy who has no female company at all \u2013 or has never been in a relationship or married \u2013 hasn\u2019t technically proven his value, at least in the eyes of women.<\/p>\n This is not to say that men who are \u201calone\u201d can\u2019t be of obvious value, because they can.<\/p>\n But there\u2019s always a little bit of a question mark in the back of a woman\u2019s mind. She may wonder: \u201cis there something wrong with him?\u201d or \u201cis there something missing?<\/em>\u201c<\/p>\n This is why taken men are generally <\/em>so much more attractive to women (yes, generally speaking). I talk more about that concept in my article: Women Who Date Married Men: 11 Hush-Hush Reasons They Do It.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Some men struggle letting go of a relationship. They may be afraid of dealing with the pain of loneliness.<\/p>\n As I mentioned above, there have been reports suggesting that men experience more pain after a breakup.<\/p>\n So even if he has no more romantic feelings towards you, he might still gain value from hanging on to you.<\/p>\n This is a source of connection and familiarity that can be hard to come by in life.<\/p>\n So unless you\u2019ve done something awful, or you\u2019re abusive and cause him a lot of grief in life, there\u2019s little cost to keeping you around as a source of connection.<\/p>\n Plus, if he was very attached to you, it makes sense that it\u2019s hard for him to let go.<\/p>\n Especially if the breakup was amicable.<\/p>\n There\u2019s also the possibility that he is insecurely attached, and this adds another layer of complexity to this reason.<\/p>\n Insecure attachment can lead someone to have a lot of separation anxiety, or simply just want to cling onto you more.<\/p>\n If you want to delve into the attachment style a little more, read my article: The 4 Types Of Attachment Styles & Which One\u2019s Yours?<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n You can also find out your own core attachment style with our free quiz: QUIZ TIME: What is my core attachment style? CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz!<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n (Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it\u2019s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)\u00a0<\/p>\n Some guys don\u2019t want a genuine friendship, they just want control.<\/p>\n They will want to be friends after a breakup not because they want to be friends,<\/em><\/strong> but because they want control over:<\/p>\n What\u2019s more is that they may want to control you because they are a narcissist or are an individual with dark triad personality traits.<\/p>\n True narcissists will not let go of control of anyone if they don\u2019t have to, just because narcissists gain a lot by controlling you. Things such as:<\/p>\n Not to mention it serves an individual with dark personality traits to create a volatile environment for you.<\/p>\n They gravitate towards it and thrive upon it.<\/p>\n If they can control your environment in any way post-breakup, they will, and sadly, sometimes it\u2019s to stop you finding anyone new.<\/p>\n It\u2019s never nice to realize that you are someone\u2019s backup option, but it happens.<\/p>\n Men don\u2019t tend to keep backup options in the same way that women do. Women keep backup options in case they need to fall back on a man for a relationship in the future.<\/p>\n In other words, they want to keep resources related to commitment in a relationship.<\/p>\n Men tend to want to keep you as a backup option in order to gain more sex (from you or from others).<\/p>\n Of course there are<\/em> men who do keep backup options in case they want to enter some kind of relationship with you in the future, but men\u2019s motivations are inherently different to women\u2019s.<\/p>\n My advice?<\/p>\n Don\u2019t let yourself be kept as a backup option for sex, because that\u2019s all you will ever be for this guy.\u00a0<\/p>\n He won\u2019t keep you around to take good care of you\u2026because he wasn\u2019t interested in anything more than just sex.<\/p>\n If you give off vibes that you\u2019ll accept this type of arrangement, that\u2019s how he\u2019ll keep treating you.\u00a0<\/p>\n By the way, did you know that there Are 7 Common Signs<\/strong> That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report.<\/strong><\/a> (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don\u2019t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)\u00a0<\/p>\n Even if your ex boyfriend or husband is not a narcissist, he could still just be downright selfish.<\/p>\n Selfish in the way that he wants to keep you in his life because he perceives more power is conferred to him that way.<\/p>\n Maybe it gives him more power in your mutual friendship group, more power over the kids, or maybe it just stops you from moving on completely.<\/p>\n There are many other reasons men can gain power by keeping you around, and you have to explore these possibilities in your own unique case.<\/p>\n Just in case the first half of this article is a bit dark and depressing for you, let me assure you that there are sweeter, more rainbow-y reasons why a man would want to be friends after a breakup.<\/p>\n That reason is sentimentality.<\/p>\n He loves your memories together. He loves what you\u2019ve learned together, achieved together, and it\u2019s hard for him to let go of those memories.<\/p>\n Aww, how sweet.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s only sweet until this type of motivation starts to ruin your chances of success with a new person.<\/p>\n If you guys were already friends before getting together romantically, there\u2019s a chance he wants to stay friends now because that\u2019s simply how you guys work best.<\/p>\n Or out of habit.<\/p>\n Perhaps the friendship was the main part of your whole relationship, and the romance part was minimal.<\/p>\n It kind of makes sense then, that he would want to preserve the platonic side of your relationship.<\/p>\n \u2026And he wants to sleep with one or several of them.<\/p>\n You are the only chance he has to sleep with them, so why not preserve the friendship?<\/p>\n This reason shows just how insincere guys can be. But we\u2019re talking about a specific type of guy here.<\/p>\n Probably not one you\u2019d like to stay in a romantic relationship with!<\/p>\n QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!<\/span><\/b><\/a><\/p>\n Do guys really want to be friends after a breakup?<\/p>\n Well, if you guys have a group of common friends, then it may cause him less trouble to keep the friendship between you going.<\/p>\n No one wants to lose all their friends just because of a breakup. It\u2019s extra stress with little gain.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re still asking \u201cdo guys really want to be friends after a breakup?\u201d, as in \u201creally\u201d really, truly truly?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Perhaps not.<\/p>\n Perhaps it\u2019s not just friendship he\u2019s after.<\/p>\n If he still has feelings for you, then it\u2019s likely that he doesn\u2019t want to be \u201cjust friends\u201d.<\/p>\n But rather, he wants to keep the option of a serious relationship open.<\/p>\n If you were with a particularly saintly guy, or if he was truly in love with you at one time and values the relationship (or even the children you had together), maybe it just makes sense in his mind to keep making sure you\u2019re ok.<\/p>\n This is what real emotional attraction can do for you with men.<\/p>\n If he was always emotionally attracted to you but your relationship broke down for other reasons, and even if you mutually agreed to the breakup, he may still want to take care of you.<\/p>\n This one is a bit of a no-brainer.<\/p>\n Sometimes, for the sake of something bigger than yourself (ie: the happiness of your shared children), he wants to be friends.<\/p>\n And that makes sense. Breaking up is already troublesome and even traumatic in some cases, so why make it more traumatic for the kids?<\/p>\n Plus, if you can stay friends with each other, you can cooperate and pool your resources together for the benefit of the kids.<\/p>\n Why wouldn\u2019t any good parent want that?<\/p>\n Simply put, sometimes guys still want to be friends after a breakup in order to get information from you.<\/p>\n Whether it\u2019s about you or who you date, or even somebody else unrelated to your past romantic relationship together, it doesn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n What matters is that keeping a friendship open means he has potential access to information.<\/p>\n Cutting off that access to information may feel like sabotaging something for himself.<\/p>\n CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE <\/span><\/b>you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)<\/a><\/p>\n If he broke up with you, it\u2019s possible that he has some regret<\/a> or guilt about breaking up with you.<\/p>\n Perhaps he knows deep down inside that he let a good one go,<\/a> or that he broke up with you for the wrong reasons. It happens!<\/p>\n As such, he knows he hurt you,<\/a> but doesn\u2019t feel like he can get back together with you straightaway, so he wants to keep the friendship alive.<\/p>\n SPECIAL REPORT: How to Become the World\u2019s Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention\u2026) CLICK HERE to download it at no cost.<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Some guys don\u2019t want any bad blood with their ex, or they just want to remain civil. One way to accomplish these things is to let you down slowly by suggesting a friendship.<\/p>\n He may not even just want to let you down slowly. He might just want to keep the lines of communication open in order to minimize negative emotions after the breakup.<\/p>\n At least in the immediate future.<\/p>\n If your ex guy is the diplomatic type, you might want to consider this as one of the reasons he wants to be friends.<\/p>\n Now that we\u2019ve got our answers to do guys really want to be friends after a breakup, it\u2019s important to look at whether there\u2019s actual value in remaining friends 0 and how to handle post breakup friendship.<\/p>\n A lot of us romanticize the concept of remaining friends with an ex. We feel sad that just by breaking up with someone, we have to lose the friendship as well.<\/p>\n Plus, we all need resources in life. And sometimes we perceive that an ex is the only person who can provide those resources.<\/p>\n So we keep them around as a friend.<\/p>\n But nothing changes the fact that you were once together sexually and possibly romantically.<\/p>\n So we have to keep that in mind, because it can negatively affect any new relationship you may have.<\/p>\n There may always be that possibility that you\u2019ll feel sexually attracted to each other, at leas in your new love\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n But here are some situations in which remaining friends makes more sense than cutting your ex off completely:<\/p>\n Let\u2019s take a look at some other common questions on post breakup friendship.<\/p>\n Just in case he can get something out of the friendship with you, usually.<\/p>\n Think about what he might get out of keeping you around as a friend and you\u2019ll have your answer.<\/p>\n Yes, it\u2019s possible. As long as there are no lingering romantic feelings between you both.<\/p>\n But make sure you\u2019ve ruled out the possibility that he\u2019s staying friends with you because of other reasons such as the possibility or sex or having a friends with benefits relationship.<\/p>\n Some guys care after a breakup, and some do not care at all. It all depends on the kind of guy he is.<\/p>\n If a guy was never in love with you, he really may not care at all.<\/p>\n But sometimes they do care too. They may just be less likely to express their emotions to you, as they don\u2019t want to look like they\u2019re not in control or are somehow \u201cless of a man\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog<\/a>, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10\u2019s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.<\/p>\n Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n![\"Do](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/frend.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nWhy Does My Ex Want To Be Friends?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/a><\/figure>\nAre Men More Likely to Want to be Friends After A Breakup Than women?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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#1: It Makes Him Look Higher Status<\/strong><\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n#2: He\u2019s Finding It Hard To Let Go<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#3: He Loves To Control Others (You Included)<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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<\/a>
\n\u2026To finally learning the skill of weeding out the wrong types of men, and passing the hardest test of them all\u2026 an accidental pregnancy after a month of dating! (\u2026All by learning one simple skill.)<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n#4: He\u2019s Keeping You As A Backup Option<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#5: POWER<\/strong><\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n#6: You Guys Share A Lot Of Good Memories<\/strong><\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n#7: You Guys Were Friends Before The Romance<\/strong><\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n#8: You Have Hot Friends<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#9: You Have Friends In Common<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#10: He Still Has Feelings For You<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#11: He Wants To Take Care Of You<\/strong><\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n#12: It\u2019s Because You Have Kids Together<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#13: To Find Out Information<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#14: He Regrets The Breakup<\/strong><\/h3>\n
#15: To Be Civil<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Is It A Good Idea To Be Friends With Your Ex After A Breakup?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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Frequently Asked Questions<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Why does he still want to be friends after rejecting me?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Can men be friends after a breakup?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Do guys really not care after a breakup?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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