That moment a man pulls away can be scary.<\/p>\n
When you\u2019ve invested in a man and become attached to him, the last thing you want is to feel him pulling away.<\/p>\n
As a woman, you\u2019d much prefer he found a way to stay in relationship with you.<\/p>\n
Or at least communicate that he will be back.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n But it doesn\u2019t always work out that way, unfortunately.\u00a0<\/p>\n Not all men have the words for what they choose to do.\u00a0<\/p>\n Not all men are sensitive to how you feel, much less perceive or understand your pain.<\/p>\n (It makes it much less likely that he will be sensitive to your pain if you tend to be superficial and don\u2019t like being vulnerable. So keep that in mind.)<\/p>\n But given that your man may not be communicating with you all that much at the moment and you are left hanging, how do you turn the tables when he pulls away?<\/p>\n First let\u2019s start by establishing the meaning of \u201cturning the tables\u201d.<\/p>\n According to the cambridge dictionary,<\/a> turn the tables means:<\/p>\n \u201cTo change a situation so that you now have an advantage over someone who previously had an advantage over you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n It also means to \u201creverse one\u2019s position relative to someone else.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Basically it means to take power away from him and bring it back to yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n Assuming he pulls away to get power or control over you, of course.\u00a0<\/p>\n And some men do<\/em> pull away from you in order to control you or get power over you.<\/p>\n In those cases, it makes total sense that you want to know how to turn the tables when he pulls away.<\/p>\n MORE: Why Men Pull Away & How to Stay High Value.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n But most men do not pull away to gain power over you.\u00a0<\/p>\n And that\u2019s the part women usually do not understand.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n How can a man pull away, withdraw or go silent on me and not <\/em><\/strong>be wanting control over me?<\/p>\n He knows he hurts me, but he still does it, we think.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s not like that in the mind of most guys, even if you think it is.<\/p>\n Sure, there are some very toxic<\/strong><\/a> men out there who will undoubtedly pull away from you just to get power over you and to hurt you.<\/p>\n But most men aren\u2019t pulling away to gain power over you.<\/p>\n They\u2019re doing it to:<\/p>\n I know this may be hard to process right now, especially if you\u2019re in emotional pain, stressed or confused.<\/p>\n But that\u2019s ok, it\u2019s ok to be confused and it\u2019s ok to not fully understand.<\/p>\n So just let the information sit and the understanding will come to you soon enough.<\/p>\n Now that we\u2019ve established the fact that most of the time, men don\u2019t pull away to get more power over you, that changes our approach when he pulls away.<\/p>\n Right?<\/p>\n You only really want to know how to turn the tables when he pulls away if you perceive that your power has been stripped from you.<\/p>\n Or that your position in the relationship is threatened.<\/p>\n But what if this isn\u2019t about gaining more power over him?<\/p>\n And what if it\u2019s not about learning how to make him chase you<\/strong> again?<\/p>\n Because you don\u2019t just want a man to chase you \u2013 you want him to value you.<\/strong><\/a> A man chasing you means nothing.\u00a0<\/p>\n What if this isn\u2019t about reacting to him pulling away out of fear, stress and anger?<\/p>\n What if instead, you could have a much better, more calibrated response through understanding first?<\/p>\n Because here\u2019s the truth:<\/p>\n If you react to him pulling away by trying to regain power, what you\u2019re doing is having a power trip.<\/p>\n And when you do that, it brings a very toxic and stressful energy into the relationship.<\/p>\n You\u2019re effectively saying you\u2019d rather have power or control over a real connection with a man.<\/p>\n You\u2019re saying:<\/p>\n My need to control the situation is worth more to me than:<\/p>\n And that\u2019s fine if you\u2019re willing to deal with the consequences of your choices.<\/p>\n But what if instead you decide that it\u2019s more important to you to emotionally attract this man, gain his trust and bring him into a long term, committed relationship with you?<\/p>\n If that\u2019s what you\u2019d prefer (I hope that\u2019s your preference over being spiteful or gaining power over him), then your approach would be very different.<\/p>\n You wouldn\u2019t try to gain power, instead you\u2019d do the right thing by the actual relationship.<\/p>\n With that said, let\u2019s come up with a plan.\u00a0<\/p>\n Let\u2019s learn the right path in terms of how to turn the tables when he pulls away.\u00a0<\/p>\n CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger <\/span><\/b>within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.<\/a><\/p>\n There are a few steps you need to take if your man is pulling away, and you still want to stay high value.<\/p>\n By the way, if you want to know how to stay high value when he pulls away, I have a course here that gives you the exact steps to take in every context of when men pull away. CLICK here to discover more.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n (The promise of this course is for you to learn the secret to showing up & staying as a high value woman when your man pulls away, so that he can come back to you with more interest, more desire & more appreciation for you.)<\/p>\n The first thing to do when he pulls away is to take pause before you react and do something you might regret.<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve already done something you regret, we can talk more about how to handle that soon.<\/p>\n But if it\u2019s the start of him pulling away right now and you have the chance, simply tell him you hear what he said (if he told you he needs space<\/strong><\/a>), and then pause and breathe.<\/p>\n Take a deep breath, and let yourself know that even though this is confusing, unfair or hard, things will still all be ok.<\/p>\n (\u2026Yes, even if they don\u2019t feel ok right now.)<\/p>\n Recommended: 17 Heartbreaking Signs he Will NEVER Come Back to You.<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Many women tend to react poorly when a guy pulls away, because it feels like a threat to them.<\/p>\n When you\u2019ve become attached to a guy, you kind of tend to feel \u201centitled\u201d to clinging on to him, blaming him, or spitting the dummy when he pulls away.<\/p>\n If on the other hand you want to maintain your status as the \u201ccool girl\u201d, then you might pretend it doesn\u2019t matter to you.\u00a0<\/p>\n You might believe in that mantra: when he pulls away, do nothing.\u00a0<\/p>\n Or \u201cwhen he pulls away, let him go.\u201d<\/p>\n Both of these reactions are on the extreme end of things, and they are usually a response to your own fear, which violates the first step above on how to turn the tables when he pulls away.<\/p>\n Both of these concepts or mantras are a reactive response fuelled by nothing other than fear.<\/p>\n But let me ask you, when a guy pulls away, will you die?<\/p>\n Will him pulling away lead to your inevitable death?<\/p>\n Absolutely not, even if you feel that it might.<\/p>\n So this is why step two is \u201cnotice what you feel.\u201d<\/p>\n Are you scared?\u00a0<\/p>\n You may feel angry and this anger might make you feel powerful if you act on it.<\/p>\n But what\u2019s beneath the anger?<\/p>\n Is it fear of losing him?<\/p>\n Is it fear of being abandoned?<\/p>\n (By the way, here is why The Fear Of Abandonment Makes You More Beautiful.<\/strong><\/a>)<\/p>\n It\u2019s also a good idea to write down what you feel, to give your feelings a place to be acknowledged and heard.<\/p>\n Are you hurt and angry because him pulling away signifies that he doesn\u2019t care? (Which perhaps you already sensed that he didn\u2019t deep down, but couldn\u2019t admit it to yourself?)<\/p>\n This isn\u2019t me saying that every time a man pulls away, it means he doesn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n Most often this is not the case.<\/p>\n However, we\u2019d be naive if we didn\u2019t acknowledge that in some contexts, a man pulls away because he doesn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n So go ahead and examine what you really feel.<\/p>\n This is arguably one of the hardest steps to do if you want to learn how to turn the tables when he pulls away.\u00a0<\/p>\n But it\u2019s also necessary if you truly want to turn the tables.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n Because if you\u2019re not aware of what you\u2019re really feeling, you can\u2019t be in a position of power and strength.<\/p>\n You\u2019re just blinded by denial, impulsivity and to some extent, even stupidity.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t want to do the dumb thing that feels good in the moment, but which you feel terrible about later.<\/p>\n Because remember, though time inevitably passes, we (ourselves) will likely remember how we acted, especially if we carry regret around that action.<\/p>\n The last thing you want to do is be so unaware of yourself and how your feelings are making you act that you do something regrettably low value.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve all acted low value plenty in our lives, and you\u2019re forgiven.<\/p>\n But at the same time, you need to know that perpetually showing up low value will push away the high value men.<\/p>\n And that\u2019s risky because these are the men you most want to keep.\u00a0<\/p>\n So make sure you know the 7 Common Signs<\/strong> a Woman is Low Value in the Eyes of Men and How to Avoid Them Like The Plague.<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report.\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don\u2019t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)\u00a0<\/p>\n If a man is pulling away, then chances are he wants to, or he needs to.<\/p>\n This doesn\u2019t mean that you cannot reach out to him, talk to him or tell him you love him (if you\u2019re already in a committed relationship).<\/p>\n Even if you love him, give him the opportunity to take the space he needs, just for now, and at least for a few hours.<\/p>\n Again I\u2019m not saying you cannot reach out.<\/p>\n In fact it can be a good idea to reach out, but it has to be done in a specific way, and we\u2019ll talk about that shortly.<\/p>\n Now:<\/p>\n This step isn\u2019t just about giving him <\/em>space, it\u2019s about giving yourself <\/em>a little space too, just to have some quiet time.<\/p>\n Aside from that, giving yourself and him space can allow you to accomplish step 4.\u00a0<\/p>\n This is the most empowering step of all the steps on how to turn the tables when he pulls away.<\/p>\n However, just because it\u2019s empowering doesn\u2019t mean it may not still hurt you or make you sad.<\/p>\n But it must be done if you are going to turn the tables on a guy.<\/p>\n You need to establish whether you\u2019re in his \u201cone of many\u201d basket, or his \u201cone and only\u201d basket.<\/p>\n What does this mean?<\/p>\n Well, first you have to understand the two baskets.<\/p>\n When a man meets and dates you, he places you in one of two baskets quickly.<\/p>\n He will either categorise you as \u201cone of many\u201d women in his life, (and therefore you\u2019re pretty replaceable), or he\u2019ll categorise you as the \u201cone and only\u201d.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re the one and only, you\u2019re not only irreplaceable<\/em><\/strong>, he\u2019ll do anything to keep you and hold onto you, because you are precious.<\/p>\n You are the one he fell in love with and wants to take care of.<\/p>\n As you can tell, the types of women men place in these two baskets are vastly different in how they show up.<\/p>\n What\u2019s more important to note, is that how men treat the women in these two baskets are also like night and day.\u00a0<\/p>\n Men typically give the women in their \u201cone of many\u201d basket crumbs.<\/p>\n They\u2019ll do the bare minimum that\u2019s required to keep you happy \u2013 happy enough to stick around in his life, but not unhappy enough to leave.<\/p>\n Yet when you\u2019re in the one and only basket, he\u2019ll want to own your soul.<\/p>\n He\u2019ll give you his all \u2013 money, love, emotional commitment and empathy.<\/p>\n Men can also give these things to their one of many, but not to a large extent, and the feel is very different.<\/p>\n By now you may already have an instinctive reaction to what you\u2019ve learned.<\/p>\n For example, you may have a heavy feeling in your stomach if you suspect you\u2019re the one of many \u2013 but at the same time, you may also feel free<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n Because it is freeing to know that you\u2019re the one of many, and that\u2019s why this step is here.<\/p>\n We don\u2019t want to lie to ourselves if we are indeed in a man\u2019s one of many basket.<\/p>\n We want to know sooner rather than later, so that we can make a choice to keep taking crumbs (perhaps until he finds his one and only), or to move on and find a man who sees us as his one and only.<\/p>\n Now:<\/p>\n If you\u2019re the one and only, you may also have felt that in your gut.<\/p>\n But perhaps not.<\/p>\n Sometimes it\u2019s not easy to know which one you are. Because a man can see you as his one and only, but if he\u2019s anxiously attached or unable to show you love in the way you perceive, he may be more reserved.<\/p>\n But don\u2019t let the surface details cloud your judgement.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re his one and only, it\u2019ll be clear through:<\/p>\n So dig deep within yourself and ask:<\/p>\n Am I the one of many? Does he only want me for my body<\/strong><\/a> and the attention he receives from me?<\/p>\n Or does he clearly want to own my heart and love me for my soul?<\/p>\n Now:<\/p>\n It\u2019s very important that you know how to show up as the one and only,<\/strong><\/a> because if you\u2019re not, then you have to settle for crumbs.<\/p>\n Not only that, but you won\u2019t ever feel that deep feeling of security, significance and warmth in the relationship that women who are \u201cthe one and only\u201d feel.<\/p>\n So there are 5 feminine secrets that make a man fall in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. You can master these 5 feminine secrets inside of my \u201cBecoming His One and Only\u201d Course. CLICK to find out more.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n (The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he\u2019s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest\u2026)<\/p>\n If you\u2019re the one and only, you can ignore this step.\u00a0<\/p>\n But if you\u2019ve worked out that you\u2019re most likely the one of many to him (based on his unreliability, giving you crumbs and lack of genuine emotional commitment), then you can pull away.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Not to punish him,<\/em> but to protect yourself.<\/p>\n Your time and energy is valuable. So even if you love this guy, you have to pull away to conserve your energy.<\/p>\n You\u2019re probably wondering if you can change from the \u201cone of many\u201d basket to the \u201cone and only\u201d.<\/p>\n The answer is that it\u2019s possible,<\/em> but if you succeed, then you will be one of the exceptions, not the rule.<\/p>\n Most women never get out of the basket they were initially placed in.<\/p>\n You only get one chance to make a first impression, and if a man has determined that you\u2019re one of many, then that\u2019s most likely where you will stay.<\/p>\n This is why it\u2019s important to ensure you show up as the one and only from the start.<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0<\/p>\n Offer your love and acceptance.<\/p>\n If this man has already committed to you, if you already trust him fully, then why wouldn\u2019t you offer your love and acceptance?<\/p>\n Unless you\u2019re a fan of creating immense suffering for the fun of it, don\u2019t punish him.<\/p>\n Let him know that you love him.<\/p>\n Show him your loyalty.<\/p>\n You may still be scared, but you didn\u2019t enter this relationship because it would be easy.<\/p>\n You entered it to enrich your life and to love and be loved.<\/p>\n You entered it to find a good father for the next generation.<\/p>\n And if he is a good father (or partner), then he deserves to know you love him.<\/p>\n Now:<\/p>\n I understand that this is not an easy task.<\/p>\n Men pull away and distance themselves under different circumstances, so a few factors come into play.<\/p>\n But right now, more than ever, is your chance to show your real intrinsic value to him.<\/p>\n Remind him of why he chose you, and why you earned that place in his life.<\/p>\n (I know many women would vomit at these words. But that\u2019s because they haven\u2019t yet met and married a man of integrity who wants to own their soul.)<\/p>\n Once you have, you realize there is a man who deserves your devotion and nothing less.<\/p>\n Even when it\u2019s hard.<\/p>\n For your interest, I have created a course on How to Stay High Value When He Pulls Away\u201d.<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0<\/p>\n In this course, I give you steps and guidelines on how to respond in a high value way to a man pulling away in all the typical contexts<\/em><\/strong> in which men routinely pull away.<\/p>\n CLICK here to learn the secret to showing up & staying as a high value woman when your man pulls away,<\/strong><\/a> so that he can come back to you with more interest, more desire & more appreciation for you.<\/p>\n Whilst there\u2019s a lot you can do to recover a relationship with a man, the most important relationship to recover and honour is the one you have with yourself.<\/p>\n So in the context of how to turn the tables when he pulls away, here\u2019s how you honour yourself:<\/p>\n 1: Check in with how you feel. <\/strong><\/p>\n If you are with a man who constantly pulls away and it hurts you deeply or confuses you, share that feeling.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t punish him for making you feel that way, because ultimately it\u2019s your job to communicate to him the effects of his actions.<\/p>\n And if he doesn\u2019t respond well or change his ways to hurt you less, then that\u2019s your choice to stay and be patient or just leave.<\/p>\n 2: Take care of your feminine soul.<\/strong><\/p>\n You have to honour your feminine soul\u2019s need for connection.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re with a man who is avoidant or has insecure attachment patterns and you\u2019re exhausted from trying to establish closeness with him, then you have to try a different approach to connect with him, or when you\u2019ve exhausted all avenues, find another man.<\/p>\n Related: 4 Types of Attachment Styles In Relationships: Which One\u2019s Yours?<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n You as a feminine soul need closeness, intimacy and attachment to thrive.<\/p>\n You can\u2019t feel safe with a man who can\u2019t give you his entire soul.<\/p>\n Some men cannot offer that level of attachment (either because they don\u2019t see you as their one and only, or because they\u2019re emotionally unavailable.<\/strong><\/a>)<\/p>\n So you have to prioritise your own need for attachment,<\/strong><\/a> otherwise you\u2019ll be trying to make yourself more masculine<\/a><\/strong> in order to try to please this man.<\/p>\n Without a deeply emotional and spiritual attachment to your man, you won\u2019t be fulfilled, you won\u2019t feel safe and you won\u2019t feel happy.<\/p>\n Depending on whether you prefer to stay with this man or leave to find a man who enriches your feminine soul, I have some articles and programs that can help you with enriching your feminine soul moving forward.<\/p>\n First of all, if you have a lot of anxiety in your relationships with men, it\u2019s worth me mentioning the fact that you may have anxious attachment.<\/p>\n Anxious attachment patterns<\/strong><\/a> can make things harder for you when a man pulls away.<\/p>\n Effectively, you\u2019ll need more nurturing from yourself (and from him, which he may or may not know how to offer you) in order to get through the period in which he\u2019s pulling away.<\/p>\n Worse still, if you\u2019re anxious and dealing with an avoidant man, your anxiety will be through the roof.<\/p>\n If you suspect you\u2019re dealing with an avoidant man, here\u2019s an article I wrote on 11 Genius Ways to Communicate With An Avoidant Partner.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n If you\u2019re unsure of what your own attachment style is, CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz!<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Also, here is an article on the <\/strong>Anxious-Avoidant Relationship: 7 Steps to Fix It.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Be prepared to deal with your man pulling away at some point.\u00a0<\/p>\n As I\u2019ve indicated above, there are things you can do to turn the tables, but sometimes you have to acknowledge that men pull away in relationships.<\/p>\n Even inside of secure and emotionally committed relationships, men can pull away, because they simply cannot be in connection with you for extended periods and still feel like a man.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve explained this more from a scientific and biological perspective in my article on Why Men Pull Away.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Regardless, take care out there, don\u2019t get stuck in a relationship with a toxic man,<\/strong><\/a> never tolerate these 6 behaviours in men<\/strong><\/a> and make sure you honour feminine soul.<\/p>\n Do you have any comments, thoughts or concerns to share?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Please share them below, because I\u2019d <\/strong>love<\/em><\/strong> to hear from you!<\/strong><\/p>\n Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog<\/a>, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10\u2019s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.<\/p>\n Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n![\"How](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/334080205_1227238321530450_2429839554141987970_n-1024x686.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nWhat Does It Mean to Turn The Tables?<\/h2>\n
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How to Turn The Tables When He Pulls Away?<\/h2>\n
Step #1: Breathe And Don\u2019t React out of Fear.<\/h2>\n
Step #2: Notice What You Feel.<\/h2>\n
![\"learn](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/hvb-gold-banner2.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\nTo Turn The Tables, You Must Become Self Aware<\/h3>\n
Step #3: Allow Both of You to have Space.<\/h2>\n
![\"how](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/wmpa-cta-blog.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\nStep #4: Try to Establish Whether You\u2019re the \u201cOne And Only\u201d Or the \u201cOne of Many\u201d.<\/h2>\n
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Step #5: If You\u2019re the One Of Many, Pull Away\u2026<\/h2>\n
![\"how](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/329046502_520043853607767_5131580605679274278_n-1024x611.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nStep #6: If You\u2019re the One And Only, Offer Him THIS\u2026<\/h2>\n
Step #7: Honour Yourself.<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/279440776_786356189073887_2414719154482385565_n.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\nLasty\u2026<\/h2>\n
![\"renee](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/renee.jpg.webp\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n![\"Renee](\"https:\/\/www.thefemininewoman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/e2ccf78e7ae1870538292e38edfe2ff7.jpeg.webp\")
<\/div>\n